fuck.
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I was waiting a long time for that like
Actual curtains or 90s hairstyle?
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Curtain. He didn’t have the hairstyle (He had a Bros quiff then straight into 90s era Jack Dee normcore)
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Grew up drinking and hanging out on the beach, we were lighting fires all the time.
I once also had a briefcase full of fire lighters and that got BIG QUICKLY
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A waste paper basket with a cigarette by accident while on work experience in Year 10. Mr B burned down the garage of his childhood home. My dad set my parents’ garden alight quite spectacularly one evening which resulted in the fire brigade coming out but he doesn’t like to be reminded of it 
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Thought I had put a cigarette out and put into a public bin. Moments later 
Was far away from it so just whistled along on my merry way
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When I was a kitchen porter the first couple of hours of my shift would be burning boxes in the yard at the back of the restaurant. Sounds fun but was actually shit. They had way too many boxes for all their supplies, no way to store them before recycling came, so had to burn them. Just hours of trying to rip up reinforced boxes to fit them into a dustbin so they could burn, it immediately filling with ash. Lost all my arm hair to the heat.
When I was a kid me and some friends tried to start a bonfire in a park when someone who lived over the hedge yelled at us so we shame-facedly stopped #rebels
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There was an unfortunate incident with a toaster that had stopped automatically popping.
think you should resurrect this
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got my hair singed on bath candles a few times when i hadn’t adapted to shoulder length hair yet
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The rain.
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oh, was banned from using my first year uni oven for about 4 months after setting a pan of sausages on fire - gonna blame my veggie mum bringing me up without the necessary life skills tbh
Yeah
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Loads of stuff. My friend and I used to stick French bangers in cow shit in the field behind his house and they’d blow up to leave a perfect crater in the shit. Loved it.
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Yeah loads of stuff. Plenty of authorised setting fire to stuff in scouts such as campfires.
Also plenty of reckless kid stuff like Aerosols, glue, messing around with lighters.
I once found a lighter at my dad’s factory and set fire to some toilet roll that was in the loo, the flames went up the wall instantly I tried to pat it out but just left black burn marks on the wall, ended up chucking the roll down the loo before having to fish it out and then put it in the bin. I was so worried that the fire alarm was going to go off or that i was going to burn the place down. Next person that went in there said it really smelt like smoke but I denied all knowledge and got away with it.
At uni I had loads of candles and tea lights. One time I was with my girlfriend in bed. There were tealights on the bedside table next to the window and the window was open. We were in the middle of having sex when i looked at the curtains and they were on fire. Stopped immediately, tried to smother the fire with something against the wall (should have learned that wouldn’t work) managed to put it out with some drinking water by the side of my bed. Again, petrified the house was about to go up in flames. Had a big burn hole in the curtains i had to explain when we left the house.
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When I was 4 I tried to make ‘chess pie’ by putting my dad’s chess set (in a wooden box) directly onto an electric ring on the hob. My mum smelt the smoke and averted disaster.
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I respect the innovation here tbh
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