too soon

1 Like

You were obviously made for each other! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::poop:

1 Like

I think so!

Weird to think I shat myself in front of her before I farted in front of her.

4 Likes

technically you did fart first surely ? or was it not a follow through…

Fair point. It was a simultaneous thing IIRC.

it would have to be a follow through, either that or you made a conscious decision to shart in the bed next to your new girlfriend !

I did on my street walking home, no one was around though

Was a bit of a laugh really

Not yet. Feel it’s only a matter of time though.

Is that where your username comes from?

I’m not prepared to reveal that on this forum. I’m only prepared to reveal further embarrassing stories about mine and my wife’s bowels.

1 Like

Big fan of this list

2 Likes

Posting for the newbies of dis.

4 Likes

Respect my bumhole of STEEL

1 Like

By the way: I’m going to be using the Gare Du Nord in August for the first time. Will ensure that I post on the DiSing in real life thread.

#epimerstoilet

1 Like

they way you have constructed that post is pure poetry. Thank you.

2 Likes

You need to be on the Jeremy Kyle show. A sad addition to men …

This has warmed my heart. First holiday with my now wife i got so drunk one night and shat the bed in spectacular fashion. Then fell asleep talking to her in a cafe the next day and threw up in a station bin.

This was a couple of months in and now we are married. What a lass!

1 Like

This just happened to me and I’m so glad there’s a thread to unburden myself in (for the second time in one day wey) so I don’t have to start one.

Was out for a run trying to clear my head from some work stress and just suddenly really needed to go. Quickly realised I wasn’t going to make it home in time. Ran to a leisure centre with plans to go inside but at the door I was suddenly gripped with the panic of shitting myself inside before I located a bathroom so I sprinted into the car park, wrestled through some undergrowth and finally unclenched. Was terrified that someone would spot me as I was next to some stairs with occasional parents and kids walking past but I think I was covered enough.

Had a second attack and thought about squatting in a bush but spotted someone walking up the path and couldn’t so I held on for dear life and eventually just sat on a bench and let it happen like a dog that knows it can’t shit inside but is going for it anyway.

Finally made it to the beach where, in the dark, I thought I could relax a bit but then someone appeared from the end of one of the tide breakers walking straight towards me so I collected my things and sprinted home.

To further add shame to it before my first ‘incident’ when I was firmly in the extreme concentration phase I was witness to a fairly aggressive confontation between a man who’d been cycling very fast in a no cycling zone and a frightened woman who’d suggested he used the cycle lane; ordinarily I would have told him to fuck off but I had to keep my head down for fear of confronting a man and immediately soiling myself. Feel very bad about this.

Anyway it’s prompted me to chill out for a night, been working too hard and sleeping erratically and those things catch up eventually. (or maybe it was the Korean food, but… nah)

11 Likes

I left immediately but the bench was about 20m from the beach and I had dreams of finishing my business at a leisurely pace then washing my shorts, dreams which did not come true