Have yours and your partners parents met?

The Josecution Rests

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Are they family though?
Should your parents have your partners parents as family just because you’ve chosen to be together?
Seems a bit…forced.

I mean i can see if theres like an event on or something but it would never cross my mind to be like “let’s get our parents all together”

Yeah, that’s part of getting married. If you don’t like it…

I’m closer to some of my extended family than I am to a lot of my “blood” family.

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Well that’s the nature of families. They can be what you like. You can call your 2nd cousin just your cousin if it suits you.

I’m not really sure what you’re driving at here. I’m sure if they’d met the first time and hadn’t gotten on then they’d only have met up when absolutely necessary.

Without a child involved they’d probably be less need to mingle? But not really sure why we should have to have two separate birthday parties for our daughter just to satisfy your belief that partners’ families should remain segregated?

You posted this while I was replying.

I think there are a lot of times your parents will meet your partner’s parents, not least if you get married or have kids. It seems logical to do this for a few reasons, not least because you might want to avoid there being a weird tension from one set of parents that they’re being excluded, like if you do Christmas with one set one year?

Yeah you get your partners family but should your family automatically get a whole extra family? What if you have a load of siblings?
Like when do people in their 50s/60s just get new couple friends

Let’s not think about there being more than one @zxcvbnm please. The horror…

asdfghjkl & qwertyuiop?

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I think you might be missing the point of what i’m saying and being a little bit defensive about it?

What i’m saying is my brother and his girlfriend have dinner parties with my mum and dad and my brothers gf mum and stepdad. Not for any particular reason. Just because they all like it.

I just find it interesting is all and I don’t think i’m the only person in here that seems to think that either the thought of their parents meeting is off or they’ve done it and it’s just odd too so…

Yeah it’s fine to specifically think it odd your parents meeting your partner’s parents.

I’m not getting defensive I’m just wondering why you seemed to be projecting that feeling about your parents onto other people’s? Like the start of this thread seems to be people saying, “Yeah our parents have met, seems fine,” and you being confused/questioning it.

It’s just people meeting each other and sometimes they get on.

Not for any particular reason. Just because they all like it.

I mean this is valid, isn’t it? That’s entirely why you do most social things you do, isn’t it?

Can’t think of anything worse. Never.

yeah, was fine

My great grandad married my great grandma. How about that?

Yeah. Was fine. Glad they did as partners folks are both dead now.

Huh. You’re the one who is projecting and seeing what you only want to see here.
I asked him why. As in…I dunno…why. Like is it a dinner or an occasion or a wedding or anything else. I just asked why. What’s so bad about that?

I’m not confused or judging anyone but I just can’t personally see a reason why I’d want them to get together. It just wouldn’t pop into my mind at all unless it was for a real special occasion that involved the both of us.

And for the record, it’s not because of my feelings towards my parents or my partners parents. They’re both brilliant.

In 16 years:

  • Christmas before our wedding (to discuss contributions towards wedding);
  • Wedding;
  • Eldest daughter’s dedication service;
  • Youngest daughter’s dedication service;
  • (I think) youngest daughter’s first birthday.

So that’s five times in 16 years. They still send each other Christmas cards, though.

Okay, this makes more sense with the clarification but it absolutely doesn’t read that way:

thanks to the ‘but’ and the ALL CAPS response.

Yeah, that’s fine. I didn’t think you were being bad towards either set, I just presumed you felt they weren’t likely to get on at all? (I guess maybe your bro and his gf thought the two sets were very likely to get on and were right?)

families eh? crazy, depressing and upli- etc…

My partner and I have been together eight years and have a child together. My mum has met my partner’s parents once and my dad has never met them.

We all live in different parts of the country and it’s never been remotely convenient for them to meet. Also: Tories.