Having kids

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those of you that have them, did you always want kids? did you get to a certain age then want them?

i’m 27 and i really really really can’t see a situation where i’d want to have kids. the world is going to shit and i’d rather have more time for and more money for me. i have no problem with anyone else having kids obviously, and even if i did there’s no way we can stop people having kids anyway (population growth being unsustainable is probably a whole new thread)

i really love the idea of being a positive influence on a childs life but i’d much rather it was mates kids or (in future i assume) my sisters kids

et tu?

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I always imagined I’d have kids by now but it’s definitely good that I don’t have any.

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I have been able to dress someone up like R2D2

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in a fight?

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Don’t think I ever had any thoughts one way or the other really.

I can totally understand why people in their 20s/30s would feel anxious about these things at the minute.

I dunno - once you’ve had them you don’t exactly regret it. They’re just part of your life.

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Yep I have kids. Always wanted them and it’s amazing. Completely respect people who are honest about not wanting them as it goes against a lot of social norms and the last thing you want is to end up in a bad situation where kids are involved.

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Tried it once, never again.

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Yeah I definitely don’t think there’s anything wrong about not wanting kids (and possibly a lot right) and nobody should ever feel stigmatised for that.

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We’re definitely at an age where we feel ‘ready’. Just need to get set up outside of the big smoke first…

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Yeah at this stage in my life, I can’t see myself wanting them

I’m 26 and still don’t feel like I’m the right age too - I don’t feel mature enough, and tbh, I really don’t think I could put up with babies. It just seems so stressful and I don’t like them really

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I’d never had an urge to want one but then over the last 6 months or so I’ve felt like I kind of might want one. I’m scared by this thought.

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Yeah I’m in this situation really. Hopefully we can have children because we both want them.

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Broke up with my GF of 10 years over my unwavering feeling of not wanting kids :no_mouth: :fireworks: :confused:

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this

My dad used to go on about WHEN I HAD KIDS so much (from about the age of 14, even though he would have died of shame if I’d been a teen mother…), despite telling him numerous times that it made me uncomfortable and wasn’t something I wanted, that when I was 20 I exaggerated my chances of being infertile because of having polycystic ovaries. He was horrified, but he’s not mentioned it since. I feel slightly bad that I (probably) lied to him, but it was unbearable :frowning:

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Yeah, always had in the back of my mind that I would want them. But ‘now’ never seemed to be the right time.

27 is pretty young though, had my first at 37 so you’ve got plenty of time :slight_smile:

(Also not to worry you but it’s also possible to be a negative influence on a child’s life - something I constantly concern myself with as I’m sure most parents do too)

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[spoiler]This is sad but sensible.

There’s no compromising on this issue. Better that she has children who are definitely wanted my both parents, regardless of whether the relationship lasts.

Also, if at some point you decide you do want them you shouldn’t beat yourself up about that past relationship. You didn’t want them then and that was the important thing.[/spoiler]

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this is the thing i’m most worried about, falling in love with someone and wanting to be with them forever but it going sour cos i don’t want kids

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Did anyone watch that secret life of 5 year olds last night?

If my child doesn’t turn out like Jet then I will probably put it in the bin (yes of course I want kids).

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Would you take it outdoors?

(@safetywink)

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Speaking as a (soon to be) parent…

I think yeah, I have always wanted kids in some ways - not necessarily in a specific, I can’t wait until I have a child kind of way, but picturing my future and a place of future happiness has involved being a dad. That’s not to say I’m not scared or worried or have contemplated all the ways in which it could be very difficult - and there’s a part of me that also envisages a happy future where I’m a badass lone wolf revolutionary novelist in a New York penthouse, going out on drunken benders all the time, but I don’t think people are very good at guessing what will make them happy, and I often crave a weekend to myself to drink beer and watch films and find myself isolated, bored and miserable.

It felt right to me and my wife to have a kid now, even though we’re not exactly in the perfect financial spot - but if we kept waiting for that mythical perfect time, how long would it be? In our NCT class, we’re the youngest couple (not by much, but everyone else is in their 30s - we’re both 29), and they all own a property and are talking about doing up their nurseries. We rent a one-bed. But we want to move to the States and stuff and we can do all that with a kid too. You just deal with it. I look at someone like @anon45164313 and I don’t want to speak for her, but it doesn’t look like baby Scout holds her back from doing awesome stuff. Your life changes, it doesn’t end.

And I don’t have much time for the ethical things people throw out about parenthood. I think ideas about overpopulation are generally pretty dubious and racist, we’re just terrible when it comes to managing our resources. I think bringing more good people into the world is a pretty smart way to fight the forces of darkness (I’m reading the Communist Manifesto to her while she’s in the womb :thumbsup:)

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