#108

Dad (freelance or contract) are more reliable than weird uncles. Weird uncles allow you to skip school to go to the cinema, and eat ice cream for dinner.

#109

what kill myself?

I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately

#111

no that’s awful!

#113

big difference between not having kids because the end of the world might happen and murdering children though?

#115

I think so.

#117

I bucked the trend compared to my friends and contemporaries. Had my eldest at 24, and went on to have 2 more.

Wasn’t the best time financially etc, but when it happens it happens and you just get on with it and love them like crazy

I do feel like I missed out on the typical extended childhood most people seem to enjoy in their 20s - and now all my friends have much younger kids, and I’m the one with more free time etc.

I’m divorced, with hindsight we settled too young/ too soon - but obviously I wouldn’t change anything

#118

Resigned to the fact I will never have kids, few years ago the person I’d spent a decade pinning over actually wanted to be with me but I knew she wanted kids in the near future, completely freaked me out.

Eventually got to the bottom of my weird reaction of rejecting what I’d dreamed of, big factor is my brother being severely unstable mentally ill, just can’t ever imagine playing happy families under those circumstances, also worry about passing on illness. I know the increased risk is small but kind of feel me and everyone I know live in the timeline where anything that could go wrong has gone wrong, so it would definitely happen.

Never really thought about whether aside from that id want kids or not though, guess I am still a perpetual teenager in no way equipped, but maybe one day it would have been something I wanted

#119

This is how I feel, down to a tee.

My partner is very keen for them, but in all honesty I’m ambivalent. We’ll have kids, but I’ve said not before my mid-30s (we’re in our late 20s now). Having them now would mean no more long-distance holidays for the foreseeable and I’d have to knock all the creative stuff I do on the head and get a proper job and be responsible, so yeah it is selfishness in a way, but the way I see it, you’ve got one shot at everything and I want to get a bit more of the stuff done that I want to before I devote myself to someone else’s. I do want to have a family, but just don’t want to drop everything in my life at the moment to do it right now.

That said, I’d hate to be older and have nobody at all close to me, eg grown up kids, their families etc.

3 Likes
#120

Yeah I imagine I probably will in the future, although currently more concerned with trying to have a stable relationship.

#121

I would like a mango nipper, but need the perfect storm of career and gf to come together and they both seem a little way off… and I’m 30!

#122

This isn’t a thing I want to do.

I’m about to turn 32, and I’m increasingly resenting the pressure from family members that I should already have shacked up with someone and had a kid by now.

2 Likes
#124

When I just say “I don’t want to”, which is pretty much the summary of it, I get a weird mixture back of how I’m a silly young girl who doesn’t know what’s good for her, but also I’m so old and decrepit now that I’m practically on the shelf and should panic.

2 Likes
#125

One thing to remember is that you very rarely hear anyone in later life talking about how they regret either having children* or not having children (unless they were unable to have children of course). People fill their lives with or without them. It’s fine and when we’re all older we’ll probably look back and not really regret whatever decisions we made.

  • One notable person who told me they regretted having kids was… my Dad. So that was nice.
#126

meat - shovel- grave, Jeff

#127

Quite.

#128

:meat_on_bone: :spades: :skull_crossbones:

3 Likes
#130

I usually guilt them with vague references to medical issues at that point and make them feel bad.

1 Like
#131

I’ve got immediate family that had a lot of difficulty having children, including my mum. When she was trying and it didn’t work out it was apparently quite upsetting for her to be asked about it non stop over the years.

People that see kids as an expectation/goal for everyone are bad enough, but it’s a really tactless thing to ask about unprompted, in case of the above.

1 Like
#132

I remember a teacher in school asked us (25 15-16 year old boys) if we were going to have kids. When nearly everyone raised their hands she called us very mature. Good fun like.

1 Like
#133

DIAMOND SPADE DEATH

2 Likes