HELP! HELP! I NEED A PROJECT MANAGER!

IS THERE A PROJECT MANAGER IN THE HOUSE?!

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Iā€™M HOLDING OUT FOR A PROJECT MANAGER TIL THE END OF THE NIGHT

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No. Just stick it in Jira.

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ā€œWell, these projects ainā€™t gonna manage themselvesā€ - Project Manager (post-lunch)

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Jordan needs a communication management approach, a risk register, a competency framework, and a project change request form, STAT!

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(Walking into the nunnery with a massive spanner and a pizza box)

Hi, someone called a project that needed managing.

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Has he filled out his RACI matrix to find out who is responsible or accountable for each of these yet?

Have I just logged into LinkedIn?

I would die 4 u- Prince2

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The nameā€™s Manager. Project Manager.

This Project has no Manager. This Project needs no Manager.

Not just any project manager

I came here to do two things

Manage projects
And
ā€¦ something else. I forget.

AND Iā€™M ALL OUT OF THAT SECOND THING

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This is a mess. Is there a 6 sigma black belt around?

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Jambon buerre, egg salad and a soy latte for me please.

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No - Heā€™s Fucked It!

A project manager goes into a bar
The barman says ā€˜sorry, we donā€™t serve project managers in hereā€™
Punchline is something specific to project management

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A project manager goes into a bar
The barman says ā€œSorry, we donā€™t serve project managers in here.ā€
The project manager tries to be agile and lean against the bar, but that would be dependent upon the little bar flap thing not being open - as it is, the project manager falls through the bar

I SUCK

any good ā€˜just JIRA thingsā€™ recently?

ā€¦ and then Trigger pulled a face

1 Like