HELP! HELP! I NEED A PROJECT MANAGER!

IS THERE A PROJECT MANAGER IN THE HOUSE?!

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I’M HOLDING OUT FOR A PROJECT MANAGER TIL THE END OF THE NIGHT

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No. Just stick it in Jira.

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“Well, these projects ain’t gonna manage themselves” - Project Manager (post-lunch)

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Jordan needs a communication management approach, a risk register, a competency framework, and a project change request form, STAT!

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(Walking into the nunnery with a massive spanner and a pizza box)

Hi, someone called a project that needed managing.

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Has he filled out his RACI matrix to find out who is responsible or accountable for each of these yet?

Have I just logged into LinkedIn?

I would die 4 u- Prince2

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The name’s Manager. Project Manager.

This Project has no Manager. This Project needs no Manager.

Not just any project manager

I came here to do two things

Manage projects
And
… something else. I forget.

AND I’M ALL OUT OF THAT SECOND THING

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This is a mess. Is there a 6 sigma black belt around?

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Jambon buerre, egg salad and a soy latte for me please.

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No - He’s Fucked It!

A project manager goes into a bar
The barman says ‘sorry, we don’t serve project managers in here’
Punchline is something specific to project management

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A project manager goes into a bar
The barman says “Sorry, we don’t serve project managers in here.”
The project manager tries to be agile and lean against the bar, but that would be dependent upon the little bar flap thing not being open - as it is, the project manager falls through the bar

I SUCK

any good ‘just JIRA things’ recently?

… and then Trigger pulled a face

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