"Hey, I was in a car crash yesterday

Can you show me a picture of your tits?"

Have you received any wrong-number texts recently?

(Of course, I’m going to oblige. The poor lamb)


I beg your pardon… Don’t hear or read that enough these days.

I hope John arrived in the end.


Sorry, meant to send that to Theo.

I was in a car crash the other day but i didn’t send you this

You can still benefit if you like?

(Hope it wasn’t serious!)

It’s ok. I’m fine I don’t need any pics but thank you


Got a long, very heartfelt text saying someone was sorry for my loss a while back. So heartfelt that I did a quick check of my nearest and dearest to make sure none of them had died. Texted back that they had the wrong number and my condolences, got an “oh sorry mate” in reply.


Flipping heck!! That would have provoked some mild panic in my chest…

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I got one when I was about 13 years old from some woman who was trying to meet up with an old friend she wanted to invite to her wedding and introduce to her future husband. Because I was 13 I text back with something really childish like “this is the wrong number you stupid smelly scrotum” or whatever, clearly the work of a child. She didn’t seem very bright and didn’t clock on that I was a child and clapped back at me, so we became engaged in a back-and-forth of insults over the course of about 3 days before she gave up and I emerged victorious. It made me an absolute hero showing the texts around the school bus, but underneath I was also petrified that she’d find out who I was and tell my parents. The thrill of it all, I’d never felt so alive. Probably the sort of thing I should be ashamed of, but because I was too much of a soft kid to come up with anything properly out of order I still find it highly amusing.




To take this next level I misread your post and briefly tried to imagine an Aussie accent thick enough to make “come outside, i still have 67 mini rockets” sound like what you wrote.

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This would have been a much better ending. :smiley: