Hey ladies, hey fellas and the people who don't give a fuck; all the lovers all the haters

and all the people that call themselves players; hot mommas, pimp daddies and all the people rolling up in Cadies; hey rockers, hip hoppers and everybody all around the world:

I’m on WhatsApp.

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Is everyone okay today?

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Just gonna say I’m loving this bit, and also I’m on WhatsApp

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Oh, well imagine
As I’m pacing the pews in a church corridor
And I can’t help but to hear
No, I can’t help but to hear an exchanging of words

“What a beautiful wedding
What a beautiful wedding”, says a bridesmaid to a waiter
“And, yes, but what a shame
What a shame the poor groom’s bride is a whore”

I chime in with a “I’m on WhatsApp”

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I’m just imagining Fred Durst doing the after-dinner speaker circuit and starting his speech this way

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or the highway

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Now this Red Cap’s got a Whatsapp (message) from his critics

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Hey!
Been trying to meet you!
(oooooh)
Hey!
Must be a devil between us
Or whores in my head
Whores at the door
Whore in my bed
but Hey!
I am using WhatsApp

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I shop at Robert Dyas…
And I’m on WhatsApp.

When I was a young boy, my father
Took me into the city to see a marching band
He said, “Son, when you grow up would you be
The savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?”
He said, “Will you defeat them? Your demons
And all the non-believers, the plans that they have made?
Because one day, I’ll leave you a phantom
To lead you in the summer to join the black parade…”
When I was a young boy, my father
Took me into the city to see a marching band
He said, “Son, when you grow up would you be
The savior of the broken, the beaten and the damned?”
“Also, I’m on WhatsApp”

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So if you’re lonely, you know I’m here waiting for you
I’m just a cross-hair, I’m just a shot away from you
And if you leave here, you leave me broken: shattered, I lie
I’m just a cross-hair, I’m just a shot then we can die
I know I won’t be leaving here with you
I say, don’t you know?
You say, you don’t know
I say, take me out!
I say, you don’t show
Don’t move, time is slow
I say, I’m on WhatsApp!

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All the people that call themselves Jason

Here we come
Walking down the street
We get the funniest looks
From everyone we meet
Hey Hey! I’m on WhatsApp

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An unforeseen future nestled somewhere in time.
Unsuspecting victims no warnings, no signs.
Judgment day the second coming arrives.
Before you see the light you must die
Also, I’m on WhatsApp.

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The WhatsApp is a little ol’ place where
We can get together

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The car’s on fire, and there’s no driver at the wheel
And the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides
And a dark wind blows

The government is corrupt
And we’re on so many drugs
With the radio on and the curtains drawn

We’re trapped in the belly of this horrible machine
And the machine is bleeding to death

The sun has fallen down
And the billboards are all leering
And the flags are all dead at the top of their poles

It went like this:

The buildings toppled in on themselves
Mothers clutching babies
Picked through the rubble
And pulled out their hair

The skyline was beautiful on fire
All twisted metal stretching upwards
Everything washed in a thin orange haze

I said, “Hey there! I am using WhatsApp.”

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Now I know why you wanna hate me
Now I know why you wanna hate me
Now I know why you wanna hate me
No reply though I’ve been on WhatsApp lately

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The highway’s jammed with broken heroes
On WhatsApp.

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What is this I’m on WhatsApp thing about? Is it just a dis thing?

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Twenty-five years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
I realized quickly when I knew I should
That the world was made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means

And so I cry sometimes when I’m lying in bed
Just to get it all out what’s in my head
And I, I am feeling a little peculiar

And so I wake in the morning and I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream from the top of my lungs
“What’s going on?”

And I say
Heyyyyy yeeeey yeeee YEH YEY
HEYYYY YEEEE EYAYYEYY
I said HEY
I’M ON WHATSAPP

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