Hi guys just saw someone I know on facebook post this request for a new housemate and thought it might annoy/amuse some of you

mainly the exclamation mark after “Piano”.

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This actually sounds like a place my brother is moving into.

I find the idea of communal living a bit hard but I could absolutely see why people would do it.

I’d end up pissing in jars in my bedroom just to avoid possibly bumping into one of these feasting helmets on the way to the toilet.

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that’s code for ‘fart a lot’

The piano will definitely be a source of tension that will drive the housemates apart, if it’s any consolation.

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Can see what you’re going for here, Smee or Meths, but it’s a bit anodyne. Chuck in a couple of people who are “REAL CHARACTERS” or a few evenings of cheeky Prosecco and I could chuck some cathartic hate at this, no problem.


I’m actually wearing mine now

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I really should have edited with heavy artistic license or even better made something up from scratch about a house of kasabian fans.


They’re just doing big shops together, I don’t think it even sounds very communal*

*They’d probably be really uppity about noise in the night time

Why have I done these**

this has backfired eh

yeah it doesn’t really register as it is

sorry smee, can’t really muster up any rage at all

really driving home the point about sharing food. i also like that one of them has “feasting” as an occupation?


We also envision sharing a veg bag and infinity order to buy bulk (organic) staples to share.

can’t really penetrate this sentence. this a Mark E Smith lyric or something?


yeah that bit is true and pretty cool actually

Not really sure the front step is a big selling point either.

so they haven’t shared a veg bag before despite living together already?

Pricks to a man.

access for disabled people?? can’t believe you Ruffers. GET HIM EVERYONE

Thought occupations had just bled into hobbies at that stage, unless someone’s actual job is “outdoors”.

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You have uncovered my incredibly edgy castle filled with wolves

haha we’re getting traction here :smiley: :smiley: :smiley: