Home Security


SO, the neighbours got burgleralised yesterday. Apparently someone smashed in their back doors when they were out and nicked stuff.

Everyone knows that the fist burglary in an area is just the dry run for them burgling YOUR place. SO what can one do to protect the gaff and the family?

Get a sign about owning a dog? Get a £60 lock for the garage which is more expensive than anything I own in the garage? (Garage! #bittory)

Think I’m going to get an obvious CCTV camera. More concerned that I may (OR MAY NOT!) work away from home a few nights a week (I might not though so don’t even try mate) and have a family. Actually have an alarm system that MAY OR MAY NOT WORK sodonteventry! But they just seem like a bit of a hassle and go off all the time? truth?

So, talk about that then, or how burglars are noble redistributors of wealth or something idk!


Give everyone apart from burglars a gun


Did they spray ‘this is for the summerhouse’ on the walls?


I mean, the gun box in the attic is CRYING out for a gun…




different neighbour. though maybe this will bring us closer? Hiding out in the summerhouse together, snooping at…my house?


car doesn’t even fit mate. It’s going to be a microbrewery…though is utterly full of absolute shite (WORTHLESS SHITE donteventry) after only 9 months


sign up a vigilante group/neighbourhood watch


defo get cctv

nothing better than watching people burgle your house


what if they steal the video


alright Richard Keys


mate you can just watch it live on your phone

its tops


Wife: what film do you want to watch tonight?
Me: would quite like to watch the cctv of when they broke in again.
Wife: god I love you


I simply never sleep nor leave my house. Plus I am fucking hard.


I’ve got the not sleeping down.


Can’t imagine there being crime in the Jewel of the South, Bournemouth.


When we were in NICU there was another rather dubious family and the woman said that she didn’t expect any sleepless night as the dad spends most of the night up looking out of the window!


They also had the most bling grobag, embroidered with the kids name. Didn’t want to tell them he was too young for it.


Motion sensitive lights, cameras, beware of the dog sign, it’s all useful, but none of it will stop a determined burglar. How did they get to the back of your neighbour’s house? The more difficult it is to get round the back of yours, the better it will be. Then inside the house, make sure valuables / important documents are put somewhere hard to find and secure. Car keys too.


Got a couple of cricket bats. Happy to report no burglaries since October 2017.