Home Security

Set fire to your house. No one wants to enter a burning building, do they?

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My nan used to make us wave at her house when we went out so that if anyone was waiting nearby, they’d think we’re just waving at the person who lived there so they’re still in and don’t bother breaking in.

I’m definitely sure she still waves at her house when she goes out.

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My dad is very into his CCTV.
Problem is he dropped his brand new iPhone 6 whilst up a ladder fitting it. He sends us the videos sometimes. Someone tries to steal his bike and there is a video of him running after the guy with a bat and hitting him over the helmet with it. Got his bike back tho didn’t he.


you wouldn’t steal a movie

my main memory of NICU is my other son being obsessed with trying to use all the hand washing facilities, of which there were many!, and being interested in his brother for all of 20 seconds

So would you steal some pine nuts?

Yeah I used to enjoy going to the loo:

Wash hands leaving individual NICU room
Wash hands after shit/piss
Wash hand on reentry to individual NICU room
Probably some sanitiser action en route.

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i have broke into various houses and stolen:

pine cones
pine air freshnessers

Just get good insurance to replace the stuff they’ll inevitably nick.

Or only have really rubbish stuff.

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get it on youtube!

thought about getting one of those cctv cameras that goes through your wifi. would be good to check on the flat if I’m working away for a long time.

anyone got one? they don’t seem that expensive

only nice thing I own is a 1960s Gibson EB-0. OR DO I?! donteventry!

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golf club in the cupboard like everyone else.

will let me know if I’ve been burgled and should phone the police

I thought about using my golf clubs for home security but maybe not ideal for close quarters combat. Instead I’ve got a short baseball bat under the bed.

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that was much more impressive at full speed. watching it in slo mo as the gif was loading made it look a bit rubbish.

Sleep in your shed and get a #RealManBigGuns to look after the house.

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Breaking into a house during the day when someone is out - probably happens a fair bit

Breaking into someone’s house at night when they know you are in, asleep upstairs - surely the act of a psycho and doesn’t really happen…

Yeah, you try and sleep easy.

Can see these lads turning up at @Raanraals new gaff:

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