Home Sweet Home Alone (spoilers, I suppose)

Put this on the weekend because my eldest child craves novelty and foolishly picked this over Jessie Plemmons playing a screaming German prince in Jungle Cruise.

I am a big fan of the original and had no expectations of this being good, but even by that low bar I was pretty amazed at how bad it was (I should admit I didn’t see large chunks of it but I honestly don’t think that matters).

Spoilers within:

Summary

The main issue is that in the original, the Wet Bandits are good villains. They’re funny but they also have an edge, and as the animosity builds with Kevin, the resulting violence is a satisfying and earned conclusion that you cheer on.

In this however, the set up is completely changed. The “villains” - Rob Delaney and Ellie Kemper - aren’t burglars, they’re down on their luck parents who are being forced to sell their beloved home and move their kids to avoid bankruptcy. They realise they have a lifeline in the shape of an antique doll they have inherited, which they realise is worth a fortune.

However, due to plot mechanics, they assume, quite reasonably, that the objectionable kid at the heart of the film has stolen the doll. What follows is a farce where they try to retrieve it, resulting in them breaking into his house to find it.

So instead of a plucky kid defending his home from violent criminals, you have this wealthy brat is his mansion abusing two desperate people at the end of their tether who want nothing to do with him.

Add to that a general SNL snarkiness to the whole vibe, and it’s a disaster.

I saw Delaney get asked point blank why he agreed to do it and he said he had his doubts but the script won him over and he urged people to approach it with an open mind. He is lying, and I hope he was well compensated for his efforts.

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The villains in the original are called The Wet Bandits?

I’m afraid that this simply does not exist.

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In the second one they’re the Sticky Bandits.

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What are they called in Bone Alone?

It’s what Marty dubs them, because their “calling card” is flooding people’s homes after robbing them. He believes all great criminals have a nickname and urges the police to refer to them as that when they’re arrested.

Stop getting Home Alone wrong!

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ive watched them all… looking forward to watching this too.
cant be any worse than home alone 5 with malcolm mcdowell

i mean look at this chump
image

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Wet Bonedits

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yeah, I half watched this. Really great film 5*
I liked the data migration/cloud jokes in it. Really great humour 5*

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I didnt get it wrong, I was merely asking but now I know - knowledge is the bomb

The kids love a MySQL reference. They fucking love it!

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Just wanna say Jungle Cruise is also bad so there was no winning in this situation

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I watched the first 40 mins or so and it seems fine, not quite The Mummy but then what is?

This was horrible.

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The humour in it is all over the place, did raise a chuckle here and there but it’s so, so shit on the whole. I had to look up the writers it was that bad and the IMDB headshots plus name combo just tells you all you need to know.

Aisling Bea’s accent had me on edge whenever she was on screen

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Worse than Home Alone 3

I liked it! though I had just watched Home Sweet Home Alone so…it was quite long though jeez, over 2 hours for a kids film

Everything is too long these days. I hate it. Bring back 90 minute films.

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Haven’t watched it but, christ that summary is bleak.

Ellie Kemper needs a better agent.

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