#93

it’s cool but thanks for the pep talk all the same :slight_smile:

#94

The most insecure scumbags are also not really interested in people (especially women) as actual human people. They view them as a trophy to show to other men to try to win their respect/envy because they don’t actually understand why people would or would not respect them for real. Which is why they try to project their insecurity onto lowering women’s confidence, because in their heart they know they’re not worth shit themselves.

#95

:slight_frown:

#96

Correct interpretation of how singles feel around non-single people

1 Like
#97

^This. Just being nice, respectful and sincerely interested in talking to a person goes a long way.

1 Like
#98

Which is why they try to project their insecurity onto lowering women’s confidence, because in their heart they know they’re not worth shit themselves.

IDK. I just think some people are fucking scumbags, tbh. Similarly to bullies, I think there’s probably a complete lack of self-awareness and a sense of profound selfishness and entitlement rather than some deep lack of self esteem that they themselves acknowledge. In fact, I think its highly likely that those people are perfectly happy with themselves, which is why they should be lined up against a wall and shot.

#99

I dunno- there’s a lot of socialisation going on that men shouldn’t show weakness, self-doubt etc, and that it’s ok to dump it on other people to try to keep up the illusion.

The people who have treated me like that certainly weren’t models of confidence, stereotypical laddish types or anything. Quite neurotic actually.

#100

This is all pretty interesting.

I sorely lack self-confidence, and as a result would focus entirely on my own perceived weaknesses in a self-deprecating manner. I wouldn’t ever dream of commenting on anyone else’s looks, or figure, or anything like that in a negative manner as a way of masking my own inadequacies. I’d never dream of doing that anyway! If I felt the need to comment, it would only be by way of a compliment - something I would do while blushing enormously and feeling massively self-conscious.

1 Like
#101

Weakness is not something to be ashamed of, most of the girls I know don’t want some macho arsehole. When people lack self-confidence it can be really endearing - blushing and slightly awkward compliments are adorable and the best :slight_smile:

2 Likes
#102

I always end up complimenting the other person on their shoes. need to stop that.

#103

There’s nothing wrong with a shoe compliment. I own dozens of pairs and have spent far too much money on them so it’s nice to see them appreciated. Today I’m wearing a jazzy beribboned pair :blush:

1 Like
#104

That’s a lovely blouse

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#105

*smashing

2 Likes
#106

@profk compliments on things people have chosen like clothes is a way safer bet of it coming across well rather than creepy when you don’t know someone well than if you pick physical features to compliment.

From my viewpoint- compliments to women you don’t really know:

Those are really nice shoes/that’s a really good dress/I like your bag :white_check_mark: = “I am paying attention, and I think you have good taste and look nice”

That dress really shows off your figure etc :negative_squared_cross_mark: = “I am kind of a creep- I only think about your body and don’t care about being inappropriate or making you uncomfortable”

6 Likes
#107

I was always told complimenting a woman on their shoes is the ultimate wrong thing to do if you want to give off a vibe of being sexually interested in them.

#108

I suppose it all depends on whether you’re giving off some kind of foot fetishist vibe or not.

#109

I think it’s more than straight men don’t generally notice/appreciate nice shoes. This is seen as more of a gay man thing.

#112

Yeah this is what I wanted to say but didn’t want to be the one who said it.

#113

That’s just depressing.

3 Likes
#115

However a great idea to subtly insult and put them down. Great chat up strategy pal.