They scare the shit out of me - Too big, too powerful, too unpredictable.
To be fair, I went horse riding in Costa Rica and my horse was mostly a great bunch of equine.
Apart from when he went cantering down a steep hill and I started bouncing off the saddle, which takes me back to my original point.
Once hugged a police horse while on ecstasy, had a lovely time.
It was fine, was coming out of some big gig or festival, waiting to meet up with mates, hugged the horse then went for a taxi.
Best horse
Oh, Epona! She’s grown fond of you, ericv
Expressionless, Tory personality voids.
once i was approaching a blind bend on a country lane on my way home from work and i saw some horse poo in the road and thought “that looks fresh, better slow down in case there’s a horse around the bend”. got round the corner and there was indeed a horse. i felt like the sherlock holmes of poo.
A horse once threw its rider off because it got spooked by my refrigerated van.
Used to hate coming across horses on the road for this reason. Even when I’m in a car, I am fucking terrified on behalf of the rider.
Once again…
It’s fun being really responsible in the car for horse people. Turn down the music and drive slowly on the other side of the lane. I think the wave the riders give you is heartfelt.
i used to go horse riding when i was a kid and once we were riding through windsor and the horse (who was called sidney) decided to throw me for no reason at all, the bastard. earlier in the ride we’d gone through a flooded field and he’d decided to lie down and try to roll over with me on his back, so i had to leap off into knee deep flood water before he crushed/drowned me. what an absolute prick.
sorry wr
I went pony trekking a few times as a kid - it always seemed to rain, which meant when you got off your horse your jeans were set into a John Wayne walking style
I am required to interact with horses and their riders fairly frequently whilst mountain biking. Most of them are lovely - the bad ones are the ones who are all arsey and the horse is all nervous but it doesn’t happen very often (I always slow right down and call out to let them know I’m there and if it’s ok to pass etc)
If horses were carnivorous they’d be really fucking scary.
Nevermind.
My grandad adopted a horse called Sydney who died and then he adopted a horse called albert
Every year the horse used to send a birthday card with his own picture on the front and ‘happy birthday from (albert/sydney)’
Always struck me as being pretty narcissistic to have your own face on someone elses card bruh
This was an actual horse anecdote though not just «horses are lame» (I used to get teased for being into horses so still get well defensive etc)
Edit: Also that specific horse definitely sounded like a prick tbf
yes it was very much just this specific horse being a dickhead. i would have a bit of sympathy for him for having to carry a person around on his back but he was a fairly large pony and i was a very skinny child
For many years I thought that horses slept standing up. One day I came across one in a private field lying down. Stood at the edge of the fence focussing on the horse, looking for signs of life. A farmer approached me and asked what the hell I was doing, then explained that the horse was alive. Felt a bit stupid but otherwise, a happy ending.
Maybe the horse just wanted a turn on your back? 
