Hot, sweaty Thursday filth

Phwoar! Could go for a nice sesh right now.

Do you and your partner(s) have any analogies/metaphors for doing bits? This is immediately going to be unsexy but that’s good because it can cool us all down.

“Reading the Bible” is mine because I was sharing a room with my ~intimate partner and had told others we had twin beds (to avoid awkward questions for both of us). Later on I made a joke about us reading the Bible together because I assumed everyone had worked out we were boffing anyway and we are both card carrying atheists. Turns out this obnoxious lad, who really fancies my dude, had taken it all at face value and actually believed we were not sharing a bed but were going through the Bible together. Anyway, we both found this hilarious so we now discuss reading the Bible if we want to allude to a bit of slap and tickle.

I’ve got a load of Biblical innuendos up my sleeve (wahey) for when I see him next week. TBF the Bible doesn’t really help itself, “Take, eat, this is my body” FFS.


Some of my ATDs at college used to “watch Dune” whenever they were sneaking of for some secret intercourse.

One of them could not describe anything about the film at all when asked.


The jizz must flow


When (my now) husband & I were much younger & first dating etc we used to refer to doing bits as ‘having a game of scrabble’. No idea where it came from, and we’ve not said it for ages since ha!

to be fair, it is a david lynch film


Seen quite a few couples hugging and holding hands in direct sunlight in town this week.

Absolutely DISGUSTEN


At school a mate wrote “write me” instead of “write to me” in class and because none of us had ever heard the Americanism and because we were 15 it came across (fnar) like a request for a doing. So anything writing based became fair game.

So handwriting was wanking, joined up was bondage, graffiti was outdoor sex, etc etc.


The story is not about me but I haven’t seen the film either.

Relevant erotic acrostic

Can we retire to the boudoir,
Will we traverse through
Blistering heat to arrive triumphant
At that beautiful crescendo?
For clarity’s sake,
This is a euphemism for fevered rutting


Absolutely not

My pal calls having an orgasm ‘popping off’ which is weird cos I’ve always used that to refer to farting

makes popping off to the shops very sexy

i had sex recently. it was very good fun, and enjoyment was had by all who were present. copious amounts of laughs and a few random farts. usual schtick.


Haven’t had a shag in 15 months, cheers.

Currently my fantasies are a big long ice pop , a rock hard stone cave in the mountains and a wet cold flannel on my head


I’ve just had a quick nap and an ice lolly, so that’s me spent

  • a shag
  • a calippo

0 voters

farting during sex

  • yeah, sure, it’s fine, at least i’m getting some
  • uh, nah, not really a thing i like, but ignore it
  • who cares, you’re seeing my nipples probably
  • i once shat by accident so

0 voters

Jokes on you, I had a calippo earlier