House/Flatshares (poll thread)

Your housemate has had a heavy night out, he’s got in fucking steaming, vommed in the only bog in the flat and the surrounding flooring and then passed out, you’ve awoken the next morning:

  • Clean up his vom and that before starting your day and leave him asleep to recover, it doesn’t happen often and he’s gonna be hanging enough later as it is
  • Wake the prick up and tell him to sort out his fucking mess so you can have a shite

0 voters

There’s a windowless toilet, say under the stairs or opening into a well-ventilated area. You Febreeze it but the fan’s a bit naff. You go for a shite. Preferable option (i’m undecided, or it would depend if anyone else was in)…

  • Close the door after you’ve finished and everyone else walks into your stench for an hour or two
  • Open the door when you’ve finished and open the back door so the stench whafts outside within five minutes

0 voters

It will 100% descend into “i’m a better adult than you” very quickly.

Men leaving the mosque in a hurry.

  • There is a passive aggressive group chat where people catalogue any and all cleaning of the flat
  • Of course not

0 voters

difficult one

1 Like

I only house-shared before smart phones. Would have been carnage on this front I reckon.

  • Keep shower gel and shampoo in the shower
  • Leave it in the bathroom but outside the shower
  • Keep all toiletries in my goddamn room

0 voters

It can be quite bad. It’s like if you don’t record having cleaned it doesn’t count. Pandemonium tbh

Your housemate as won the EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) and wants to display each of the awards in the shared front-room at the expense of your own BAFTA award, it has always been an ambition of yours to win the EGOT and it will eat you up inside to have to see your housemate’s awards constantly but on the other hand, you’re so fucking proud of them, only an elite group have ever won the EGOT and it’s incredible that they’ve achieved this.

  • I don’t kick up a fuss about them displaying their awards in the front room, my own BAFTA is still an incredible achievement and it’s not belittled by my housemate’s greater achievement.
  • Fuck that, show a bit of class yeah? You’ve won the fucking EGOT already, you don’t have to rub it in my face you prick

0 voters

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There is one but it only gets used when things are diabolical.

Got a rota for cleaning?

  • Yes, a strict one
  • Yes, a loose one
  • No rotas because we are all adults who can trust each other
  • No rotas and it’s cleaning anarchy

0 voters

Jeremy Corbyn.

  • Having a cleaner in a houseshare is a sensible away to maintain relationships by avoiding stupid bickering about cleaning
  • Having a cleaner in a houseshare is tory

0 voters

I’ve literally never seen one flatmate or housemate clean the toilet, clean the bathroom, hoover the front room or clean the kitchen sides.

Option 5: Hire a cleaner.

That’s a nice apology at least.

I only experienced this in a flatshare a few times and only ever lived with mates so it wasn’t as bad. Once someone brought back some bloke I didn’t know who fucking threw up everywhere and tried to get in my room at 3am etc and I was fucking livid though.

1 Like
  • We own a mop
  • We struggle by asking our friends to borrow their mops and wiping any large stains off the floor

0 voters

My kitchen is a fucking mess at the minute. I’m going to have to clean it all by myself (including doing loads of washing up that isn’t mine) because everyone else has fucked off and I can’t stand it any longer

This is chat

i lived with a person (just two in the house) who’d have big parties and wouldn’t even give me a heads-up in advance (fair enough, i’m not welcome, at least give me a chance to find somewhere else to be)

We have a mop but it broke in half so it’s only half a mop now