House parties


Stuff that happened at house parties when you were younger


Tim got his dick out and played it like a guitar and then found Justine’s mum’s dildo in her bedside table drawer.


They were discussing this on the radio the other day and someone tweeted in about pissing in a bag of oven chips then putting them back in the freezer.


Amy ate a glowstick then threw up in a boot


@smee and @meths kissed for 60 seconds


I was sick in a sink because my friend was on the toilet and a whole prawn came out. Not sure why I had swallowed a prawn without chewing it but there you go.


I guess you would


We went into the woods to drink earlier in the afternoon and Tom got so hammered we had to drag him back to the house through a ditch which led to Stu’s Mum having to hose Tom down in his pants on the patio at about 1830 while he shouted “BLOW MY NOSE” at her.


Some bigger boys got a bed sheet and the pet rabbit and bounced it up and down progressively higher until it got out of control and the inevitable happened.


I had a mate who would put up a list of rules on Facebook, have a joint and two beers and break every single rule on the list.


One of my mate’s was broken up when his dad unexpectedly came back and the first thing he saw was a kid sat on the stairs with a bottle of amaretto in one hand and a lit blowtorch in the other, trying to light a massive joint


I remember some sort of fracas in the kitchen (over a girl iirc) and one of the lads came and sat in an armchair in the living room. The other one came in and ended up push the chair out through the patio doors and onto the decking… unfortunately the doors weren’t open


One new years this lad Chris (name might be wrong, forgot what happened to him) managed to make a deal with Ivan, where for fifty quid Ivan would allowed to be teabagged by Chris. He managed to raise well over a hundred from everyone who chipped in (myself included) and ended up with about 40 people stood in a circle cheering on the teabagging. Unfortunately this was back when phone cameras were shit so all the recordings aren’t great. Everyone was really into it at first but by the end it was sort of a stunned silence, a really morbid atmosphere. Sort of like in Black Mirror when the prime minister fucks the pig and by the end people are too horrified to enjoy it but too engrossed to look away.


Classic Ivan


He turned out okay, after a while.


:open_mouth: .


Jake smeared tuna paste on the windows


I had a really good party, managed to just about keep a lid on everything, keep smoking outside, nothing damaged, roped in a few mates to help clean up the next morning.

Thought I’d gotten away with it when my mum got back, but it was a really cold day, and when she turned the kettle on the window above it steamed up, revealing a massive, crudely finger-drawn spunky cock & balls.


yeah. grim


Went to one where the host slapped a gal for snogging her dad. Wasn’t even that long ago.