#131

I am immensely privileged and some good stuff has happened this year but holy shit the lack of seeing family, and WFH in a tiny apartment, has utterly sucked. 4/10.

Positive:

  • We bought a house! Which was amazing and I can’t wait to move in early next year.
  • Our cat has been an absolute joy - massive MH-lifeline, she is funny, friendly, lovable and just great company.
  • So is my girlfriend but she gets more superlatives obviously.
  • Got a promotion at work and it’s gone quite well, especially given how privileged I am to have a job still.
  • While our social life hasn’t been buzzing, we have deepened our relationship with a couple of friends who are actually moving close to where we’re going to be living. That’s cool.
  • At the moment, touch wood, my family and my GF’s family are still all healthy and OK, despite some of them working in the NHS and my GF’s family coming from Brazil.
  • Started seeing a therapist which is not really working so far but I trust the process and I’m proud of myself for doing that.
  • Got myself into a better financial place.

Negative:

  • WFH and not leaving the house much has had a huge effect on my MH. Zoom calls, lack of division of space, and a stressful year in and of itself has led to a complete inability to shut off from work. Have been sleeping terribly also as a consequence. This feels like it trumps everything on the positive list, almost.
  • Lost a good friend of mine who drowned in Argentina. Couldn’t go to his funeral either.
  • Work has been carnage. It’s gone well but it’s been a huge, huge ask. Taking over a new team of 10 and then almost immediately going remote, and then all the changes through the year that we’ve had in the company, it’s…… not been easy.
  • I haven’t seen my family since last Christmas, and unlikely to see them for a while yet. That sucks.
  • Especially my nephew who I’ve only met once.
  • I was supposed to go to Brazil this year again and that was cancelled. Sucks.
  • I thought I would use lockdown time to be creative again, but I haven’t. Sucks.
#132

:heart: well done - not only on getting therapy but for being honest about where you’re at with it (but also open minded about how it might progress)

1 Like
#133

Thanks! I find it hard to set expectations with how to feel etc - nothing has changed in how I feel but I think it’s the start of a long process so we’ll see what happens. I kinda hate it most weeks tbh

#134

Fucking rubbish lads. Met some nice new people which was a bit weird because of the whole pandemic. Sick to absolute fuck of my job but feel ever increasingly trapped and closer to just quitting which seems like a bad idea but so so tempting.

1 Like
#135

Crap

:+1: Went to Slovakia, Hungary and Austria with work Jan and Feb
:-1: My whole industry stopped existing and I’ve been out of a job since March and not even been able to get an interview for the few jobs I have managed to find to apply for. Wasn’t eligible for furlough so been stuck on basic dole money ever since then.

:-1: Bored, lonely. I’ve barely been anywhere except the supermarket in the last 9 months. Even when things were open in the summer I didn’t get to go to them because I ended up with some self-isolation and quarantine periods. Now the weather has turned, going for a walk with local friends isn’t such an option. I live alone except for a cat.

:-1: Being unemployed for so long has made me in debt for bills, so I’m constantly trying to pay off the backlog piecemeal. If I was working I could get it sorted in a matter of weeks. Constantly adding up small amounts of money in my head which is exhausting.

:-1: Embroiled in never ending lawsuit for imaginary money with a time waster who in the whole time since August 2019 has never actually submitted any evidence or statements, but keeps stalling/deliberately wasting time/making pointless applications to change things to drag things out, and the system lets him.

Just constant low level boring stress. Nothing dramatic, just crap.

2 Likes
#136

Can totally understand the many reasons people might not want to use it but I think the DiS fund is still a thing if you think it would help relieve some of your stress might be worth checking out?

https://community.drownedinsound.com/t/dis-community-hardship-fund/

I hope this doesn’t come across as patronising just wasn’t sure if you were aware of it.

6 Likes
#137

top quality year tbh. eight out of ten.

#138

posted before i read the thread, which in retrospect was not a great idea, and it looks like i’m taking the piss.

i was supposed to be on a 6 month sabbatical this year to get my head together after too many years of too much intensity, too much time on planes, too many countries, too much booze, etc. in retrospect i was in a bit of a bad way i think. i was going to spend a lot of it doing an overland trip from england to bangladesh. i thought i needed some serious time to chill the fuck out and process a lot of things and that seemed the best way to do it. the corona thing in a weird way was a better modality for doing all of that. all of the usual pressures and obligations disappeared. there were some shit bits and of course its in general an absolute global nightmare. but on a personal level it came at the time when i was by far the most prepared for it and in the best possible situation to ride it out (work-wise, living space wise, no children etc), as well as the one thing i really needed being time and space to not do very much and think.

#139

I wouldn’t feel right doing that- there are people with kids, sudden emergencies etc who would need the money much more than me. I’m just run of the mill broke.

If people want to help, then buying a calendar or print would be a big help

2 Likes
#140

I am incredibly privileged that 2020 has been a good year for our family and no one we know has been badly ill with the virus (my nan died just before it all kicked off, but she was 100 so it’s hard to feel that she didn’t get a good innings). Was going to say that it’s an 8/10, but then remembered…

It’s now 4/10 :-1:

1 Like
#141

i’ve had a rubbish year.

#142

I read some absolutely excellent books (more Le Guin, NK Jemisin, Rivers Solomon, Molly Mendoza…), that one massive DiS meat in January was magical, I had one nkce day out in like February eating all the food and going in all the bookshops, weekly Low livestreams and playing D&D have been fun, and my son is such an excellent little human who gives me a reason to exist.

Otherwise… absolute grueling misery the majority of the time. My ankle was fucked at the start of the year from a fall in December so that was painful and limiting even into when lockdown started. Have spent most of the year overwhelmed and terrified ans unable to cope with change on every level fr personal to global. Relationship with my family was strained before but has been disastrous with all thw extra time I’ve been trapped with them. I can’t even leave the house without being a wreck afterwards because I got so out of practice with it and I’m verging on agoraphobic now. R started school and it had been pretty tough for him, but turned into a total nightmare since his isolation extended half term and they are completely destroying us. Oh, and covid sst back my chances of moving into a more manageable living situation by probably another couple of years. Ex continues to harass and abuse me.

Don’t know how the fuck I can carry on doing this/10

#143

2
Plus - still alive

Minus - personal tragedy, coronavirus, total waste of a year

1 Like
#144

:hugs:

for everyone

Not literally that would be ill advised according to expert advice of the world health organisation

8 Likes
#145

Next year will be interesting, feel like a totally different person to this time last year, I’m not yet sure if this new person is going to a more empathetic, kinder, grateful and more understanding one or if I’m going to slip into bitterness, selfishness and anger.

Don’t really feel comfortable going into specifics on here, but I think when you’ve been through a really tough time it can shape you quite dramatically, and as things are so un-normal at the moment I’m not really sure how I’m going to be when I start interacting in any normal way again.

So yeah…
fuck you 2020
I hope you all have a better 2021s!

1 Like
#146

Feel like I was coming to a point where I was going to ‘take control’ of my life and move to a new city like I’d always wanted to. Me and Gf had booked a dream trip across the Baltic States in May after which we were going to hand in our notice and then… Lockdown was also quite isolating in that I feel like I’ve lost contact with all my friends or maybe that those people were not actually my friends at all

Moved into a place of our own, and the effect of having some space is soooo good. Got a cat now which is sitting on me, bought a nice guitar and I’ve made approx two tracks of music I am happy with. My Gf is starting a new job in a few weeks which will mean she will actually be in the house regularly so I don’t have to eat mackerel pasta all the time. I managed to watch a lot of movies. Finally I’m growing my hair long for a while which is also exciting.

Trying to be positive because I’m always a negative guy, who knows why because I live a charmed life

1 Like
#147

Weirdly, this year has been the year my life got back on track after 2 years of floundering professionally and personally.

  • Moved in with my boyfriend, who is The Best
  • Got engaged to above boyfriend
  • About to complete on a house we’ve bought together this week
  • Had to get a new job as pandemic made my happy contract even more unstable, but I got a job quickly and it’s a promotion plus pay rise (I had left my last stable job in Feb 2018 so happy just to not always be on the brink of disaster)
  • Got onto a prestigious creative writing course
  • Grew some tomato plants to fruition, and some pansies from seed (I never ever thought I could do nature things)
  • Finished knitting a big blanket I began a few years ago
  • Achieved the mid-way point of a creative project that I feel balanced about rather than that it’s absolutely terrible
  • Learnt to cook and got Into Cooking - including making up my own recipe for a sponge cake that’s really good!
  • Discovered CBD oil that helps my anxiety (I think, it could be a placebo)
  • Lots of time outside

:-1:t2: I can’t drink any more for some reason, which makes me feel anxious about socialising after lockdown
:-1:t2: Had lots of stress related to family health including my dad having a near death experience
:-1:t2: Lots of stress related to things around house buying, job changing, etc although ultimately it’s all been good
:-1:t2: tw for body image Gained some weight due to pandemic, all the cooking, and lack of exercise from commuting etc. Struggling to not feel badly about it, but this is a very small and silly thing compared to most other people’s worries

For context though, I’m coming off of an 18-month to 2 year stint where I got dumped from a horrible relationship and made redundant at the same time, stayed unemployed for six miserable months, had a gruelling time in therapy relating to some gnarly childhood traumas, finally got a job but was being managed by an absolute bully who ruined my confidence, hit some intense lows, managed to get a new job where I was happy but it was a very unstable contract so I was never guaranteed a job more than about 2-3 months out, lost a couple friends. Feel like a very different person now than I was in 2018, but much happier, calmer and more settled overall.

9 Likes
#148

Yeah have had some of these vibes as well
Not comfortable

2 Likes
#149

Yeah, I used to use the excuse that maybe I dont see them because I cant go out at night with them (as if daytimes and phone calls etc don’t exist to them) so was really looking forward to everyone adding me to zoom quizzes and virtually socialising with me…didn’t happen.

3 Likes
#150

It was shit