I live in Caterham which is one stop further out.
Regards Whyteleafe, the beer place is great as well as the football club, but apart from that there isn’t much there at all, it just the A22 cutting down the the M25. We looked in Whyteleafe but found it boring, if the beer place had been there when we moved that might have swayed my opinion.
What it does have going for it is the fact its got three stations. Whyteleafe and Whyteleafe South are on the same line (same as Caterham), and then Upper Warlingham which is the far faster line into London.
I really like living in Caterham (the Valley), as its close to the shops and station, its got a good local theatre too, its also a 2 minute drive and you are on the M25.
Personally I’d avoid Redhill, its a bit of a dump. Reigates nice, but might be pricey.
Coulsdon, I know well too, as I cut through on my way to work, but again there isn’t much there and its a cut through to the M23/M25.
Personally I’d consider South Croydon (especially around Lloyd Park which is lovely), or perhaps Carshalton which is a lovely villagey feeling place, with great pubs. Wallington (where I work), also have nice housing and is close to Carshalton. Addiscombe might be worth a look too.