How do you think you can best add value to my life?


#1

For example, Saps may be able to skim my living room ceiling, antpocs could sing me to sleep with sweet lullabies, jeziron can speak to his bro-in-law, ethric could help out with the nursery run etc.

Please apply below.


#2

I’m very interested in why you’d think this


#3

To be honest I would fancy your chances more than saps skimming my ceiling


#4

I’m surprisingly competent at DIY type tasks as it happens!


#5

I could turn your attic into a scale version of dusseldorf and have toy trains run around it?


#6

I could see to your wife’s carnal needs if you like?


#7

What are your tree surgery skills like?


#8

Erm, I’ve once cut a branch off a tree and put some of that black tar-like stuff on the bit that was left.


#9

Would you also board all of the floor and would you mind if I binned all the trains and stuff?


#10

Ok, I need you to chop several 30m trees in half and ensure they don’t die.


#11

I feel like I’ve done enough for you already quite frankly.


#12

'fraid not. I’ll be making regular updates as dusseldorfs skyline changes.


#13

Vertically or horizontally?


#14

Ok, you get a bye.


#15

if you get any TV shows commissioned i could be an important part of your post-production team


#16

I’ll leave that one to your expertise.


#17

I’m thinking of a reality show where seriously underqualified people do very dangerous tasks. Episode 1: tree surgery.


#18

I could write you a radio commercial if you desire?


#19

You’re gonna need a hell of a lot of glass for all that chopping.


#20

The underqualified people do dangerous tasks will need a marketing campaign.