Been sort of avoiding this thread. I struggle with listening to Elliott Smith these days - well, really for many years. His death impacted me harder than any other musicianās at the time, a loss and heartsickness matched only by Mark Linkous and Bowie later. It adversely affected my ability to listen to his music without becoming considerably upset, and I can generally listen to a lot of incredibly sad music as pure catharsis; not so in this case. It felt personal, just like his writing. I couldnāt separate the loss.
As such I find it difficult to put my thoughts to words, and while I knew there were going to be some dissenting opinions that were going to push me away, there has been some beautiful, eloquent stories from other users whoāve managed to say more than I feel capable of and I am both grateful and heartened to know that the depth of feeling is very much shared.
I first heard Elliott Smith in 1997 (I think, in my head itās around the same time I got into Jeff Buckley, which was a scant few months before Buckleyās death), and he just slipped in without a great deal of fanfare; I was 18 and pretty into my sensitive singer-songwriters at the time, so he didnāt stand out massively at first, but you know how it goes; you build a bond over time. I was also ramping up to the first heavy depressive cycle in my adult life, so my connection to Smithās music grew in tandem as he put to music what I felt inside, without even realising it until a minor breakdown in the second year of university. Things got progressively worse for me and, I guess, even worse for Elliott. I still canāt believe itās been 17 years. Obviously new music emerged posthumously which I snapped up on release and then could barely bring myself to listen to (though New Moon gave me my absolute favourite Smith song in Going Nowhere), but it just doesnāt seem that far away, like his shadow is still in the room, so to speak.
My last.fm stats tell me I havenāt listened to him since 2013 (at my computer at least). But I know his music is there for if and when I need it.
5.