You can give some people as detailed instructions as you possibly can and they still fuck it up don’t they?
Coffee: absolute shite
I just made myself a shite coffee to be quite humble in my homosexual opinion.
I don’t drink tea, but my ex wife said I made a blinder.
I’m bad at making tea, as I rarely drink it. My brews have been described as bland and too milky in the past.
Incredible at making coffee, herbal tea and hot chocolate because I drink a lot of those drinks. also worked in a cafe for a while.
Something very Bukowski about this post
Tea and coffee: pretty decent.
People who fuck up tea are always massively underbrewing it, aren’t they.
tea: 16 out of 10
coffee: pretty average i guess
Read profk’s post and you can basically see him chucking the bag out after 10 seconds
its probably less than that tbh
Someone went to get the hot drinks in the other day
My order ‘Tea, with just a splash of milk and leave the tea bag in’
It came back and I think it was half hot water, half milk and the tea bag had barely been given enough time to get wet (and certainly wasn’t left in, as instructed).
I make incredible hot drinks. I don’t trust anyone else to make them to my taste, which is why I take my coffee black and my tea green. The only way you can ruin them is by not making the coffee strong enough (easily fixed) or by taking the teabag out of the tea too soon (worse things happen at sea)
I once knew a woman who made cups of tea so rancid, I couldn’t even be in the same room as them. She had a pint mug that had one of those vaguely feminist office worker slogans on it (the best man for the job is a woman!!!) and she’d fill this three quarters full with milk. She’d top this up with hot water, and then - and only then - she’d dunk in a teabag for about as long as most people dunk rich tea biscuits.
The result was hot diluted milk. The tea had seeped so little you couldn’t even call it “off-white”.
Worse, when describing how she liked her tea, she said “milky, like a baby”, in a baby voice and with a baby face.
This woman is hell.
I’m excellent at making them exactly how i like them. Everyone else can GTF.
I make excellent hipster pour over coffee about 90% of the time, sometimes it breed too quick and is a little weak. This is a bit luck of the draw, but I try and maintain consistent technique to avoid it happening
I think I make good tea - but I don’t put a lot of effort in, just like the bag with a spoon until it’s the right shade of brown. I have full cream milk at home, and I know some people don’t care for that in tea
My mum does not make good hot drinks. She always uses a tea pot, but doesn’t let it brew for long enough. Terrible weakness
People saying “I make great drinks” how do you know they’re not shit and others are being nice to you out of pity?
I can smell pity.
tea - excellent/10
coffee - depends on the method. can make proper barista coffee, cafietere, stove top all fine but have discovered at work that i suck at aero press
I’m walking, talking proof that the British have no sense of politeness when it comes to this sort of thing.
And whilst we’re here, what’s all this shit about putting the milk in first in instant coffee? You can’t burn that shit, stop being a wanker!