Hated Red Dwarf. Unfortunately my best friend when I was 11 (let’s call him PHIL) was a huuuuge Red Dwarf fan and so that meant whenever I went round to his house we had to watch Red Dwarf over and over. He had all the videos and books and a bomber jacket with the logo embroidered on the back that he kept in his wardrobe and never wore for fear of it getting dirty. He’d even put together a Red Dwarf encyclopedia (called the Smegopedia) on his PC, which was kind of like a website but not online because this was before normal people had the internet. He used to make me look at it and I’d pretend to be impressed.
There was another boy in our friendship group (let’s call him ANDY) who was also into Red Dwarf and they used to have Red Dwarf-offs in the form room to see who was the biggest Red Dwarf fan. This all came to a head when the local comic shop got some back issues of the extremely rare (citation needed) official Red Dwarf magazine (called the Smegazine) and Phil couldn’t afford to buy them but Andy got a loan off his mum and went and splashed £100 on the lot.
This caused a major rift, which Andy tried to heal by inviting Phil round to look at his Smegazines, but this only worsened the situation as Phil decided that Andy wasn’t caring for the magazines carefully enough and had allowed them to become dog-eared, proving once and for all that Andy was not the biggest Red Dwarf fan and that Phil was the only right and pure Red Dwarf fan.
Then series seven aired and it was utter shit so that put an end to all of that. Theme tune is a banger though.
