This is a spin off of a reply on the Annoying your partner Official Thread, because I don’t wanna derail it…
Do you take an interest in things that your significant other enjoys, or do you just go with your gut feeling and stick to it?
The example there is someone who really likes Harry Potter finds it hurtful that their partner has never read any of the books, and once half-arsedly watched one of the films.
So I found the reactions quite surprising because I often will read a book / listen to an album / check out a place my S/O will recommend, even if it’s not something I would have thought I’d enjoy.
I’ll admit, I’m not at all fussed with the Harry Potter franchise, but if it was something the person I was in a relationship was very much into, I’d probably give it a read / watch the films / both. I’ve watched plenty of films, read plenty of books and listened to plenty of music I wouldn’t have paid any attention to if it weren’t for the recommendation. I don’t feel obliged to say I enjoy them, but I trust her enough that if she’s suggesting
So is the implication in the replies
- Getting upset with this is quite needy, regardless of how the person I’m in a relationship with feels.
- Harry Potter LOL, imagine someone like me being caught dead reading / watching that.
- You shouldn’t try to force your will on other people, and if you do, then you shouldn’t be surprised if they react negatively to it.
- If something means a lot to you, you should make it clear to your partner and not expect them to be able to read your mind.
- Other (please explain)
People like what they like, innit. I’ll nearly always give something a read / watch / listen if plasticmike recommends it to me, because our tastes are v similar, but there’s some things I know I won’t ever be arsed with.
gf is pretty into harry potter. when we got together id read about half the books before they turned into doorstops and ol’ jk needed an editor who could tell her to try again. saw the first film when it came out, never had a better sleep in a cinema. gf told me to watch the films coz she loves them, i didnt really want to. we started watching them together, got about halfway through? i think we watched 3 and she said thats the best one, and it was better than the others but not great. then we watched 4 and i thought that was as shite as the first two, so she said if you dont like that you wont like the rest. so we didnt watch the rest. i try to recommend music to her all the time, sometimes she listens, usually she hates it, sometimes she loves it. these days she usually just says nah. its fine
Would be so shit if me and my girlfriend just liked all the same stuff. Can’t think of anything worse
That’s not what I’m saying though
I can probably list 100,000 things worse than this
I’m not going to read the thread or Harry Potter, mate
Is one of them taking things said for the purpose of exaggeration literally?
The other half’s comments about Harry Potter made me a-lol
I think you should make a wee effort if it’s something very meaningful to the other person and that’s been expressed, but if it’s something that looks utterly dire to you then it’s fine to be totally disinterested (cycling, Game of Thrones, snooker)
My sixth form boyfriend flipped the fuck out because I refused to go cycling with him and didn’t want to go on a tandem bike. He harassed me for months about it and wouldn’t take no for an answer. It was shit.
That said I’d be very sad and disappointed if I couldn’t encourage a bf to come to an Angels match just once.
how can liking the same things as someone you love be a bad thing?
I wouldn’t belittle something a partner loved, but at the same time i’d see it as a positive not a negative that we liked different things and enjoyed spending time apart for hobby stuff or with other mates.
I imagine a relationship could quite quickly become stale if you spent all your spare time sharing interests.
Liking some of the same things is great. But also liking some different things is a good way of creating healthy spaces which are your own.
if you like all the same things, there’s no discovery or debate. Just the both of you agreeing all the time and doing the same things. Boring as fuck.
Well I spent 4 days at the golf on holiday so…
(this was actually exceptional circumstances)
But on the whole, I want separate hobbies and interests because that means ALONE TIME. I could get super into playing golf but that would mean we’d be at the driving range and the golf course together all the time and I’m like naaah do my own thing thanks.
I don’t really trust his taste in music and my tastes are far superior. He takes more recommendations from me in this department.
If I ever went out with anyone who was like YOU MUST LIKE X, i’d be gone. Can’t be arsed for that shit. It’s kind of how I feel when I see women at football games in football shirts or being well into football in public or private. Fucking hate football.
All and just were the key parts in there. Don’t want to spend all of our time together. Different hobbies are nice, spending time apart is nice. Pressuring someone to watch/read/do something they don’t want to do because you’re so desperate for them to like it is a bit weird too imo
If this was me I’d have read a Harry Potter for her, sure. No harm done. Relationships are built on this sort of give and take yadda yadda. Although I can’t imagine I’d cope very well in a relationship with someone who was that into Harry Potter and, also, that seemingly sensitive so it’s moot.
can’t see that being a problem
The rest of your post I 100% agree with but there are plenty of women who just like football