How many people will be at your funeral?

I think somewhere between 5 - 8 people will attend mine.

Have you planned yours already? You never know when you might die!

Dunno. Usually 3 or 4 blokes on a bin lorry aren’t there?

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Dunno mate, depends when I go innit.

Harvest my organs and do what you want with the rest, I won’t give a shit will I

For someone who does no real exercise is pushing 50 and is miserable a bit too much of the time I should probably give mine some thought.

Perhaps we could organise each other’s funerals on here.

If tomorrow probably somewhere in the region of 20-30

The only thing I’ve sorted out so far is who takes over my Facebook account.

cba having one tbh


might put on a buffet to try and up the numbers


Oh don’t be daft, we’re neeeeeeever getting rid of you. Have a nap.

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All of you guys will come to mine, right?

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I will be there as part of the internet usage coalition with representatives from google and wikipedia, yes.

I dunno, but I have a feeling that it will be a bit like Thatcher’s funeral, with about 75% of people I encountered over the course of my life rejoicing, and the other 25% in a ruddy, bloody brave solemn state of grieving.

I will also insist on a state funeral.

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What do you want to happen to your body?

  • Buried
  • Cremated
  • Dont care
  • Other (pls specify)

0 voters

Reckon i might donate mine to one of those forensics farms.

Face down in a canal pls.

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As I shall be in my coffin clutching a winning betting slip, it doesn’t matter.
(c) I’ll Fly You For a quid (1973)



Sky burial. Preferably somewhere really hard to get to but extremely visible, like on the roof of the houses of parliament or something.

Cremation (unorthodox)

Ideally, just be chucked in the bins and taken away. But I don’t think that’s an option, so cremated probably.

Basically my answer is whatever the cheapest thing is. I know it’ll be someone else’s bill to pick up, but the amount of money involved does my head in. Funerals - to be filed with weddings and house-buying.

I’m also happy to be stripped for spares, although my wife is against it for some reason.


I can bring three if it is mid July