Maybe this isn’t the thread for it, but I felt the same when my marriage fell apart, and it took me years to get back to “normal”, whatever normal is. I guess the way I resolve things now is that everybody has events in their life that shape them, and you can’t not let them affect you, but at the same time you can’t let them consume you either. After it happened I kept myself sane by telling myself that I wasn’t the first person to have a relationship go wrong, nor was I the last.
would you say you have gone back to normal now? I’m pretty sure I never will, it’s like some form of trauma or psychological problem I have that will never heal. I guess it’s possible to still live a life feeling under a cloud all the time, like any other disability I suppose
like, 93.333% of my adult life. Jeez ladies, give me a break rofl lol
You can’t ever go back to what you were, because everything in life shapes you in some way, but you can go back to normal functioning relationships and individual events not overshadowing every aspect of your life. Another tip a friend told me was to interact with people and put on a front that everything’s OK, and as that carries on, one day you realise you’re not actually putting on a front and you can just cope with everyday life. I’m not sure how helpful that would be for everyone, but it was a reminder that other people are all going through their own struggles too, and it’s not like you a singular isolated person that all the bad things are happening to while everyone else is just breezing through life.
I feel like this is something I know to be true but refuse to accept
Imagine will change immensely as I age given that I don’t (think) I want to be in a relationship again in my life.
I make it about 86% of my life. Couple of medium term relationships at uni; met Mrs CCB when I was 21.
It’s weird because I remember how, as a teenager, I was convinced I would be eternally single. Was a really awkward, lanky, shy secondary school kid.
Shoutout to my perpetually single cruuuuuu
I am in a very happy relationship now, but I settled down with my ex-wife too young, before I knew myself very well.
I think the idea that you need to be comfortable in your own skin to be a good partner is a good one, but I think that for some people, being in a relationship is how they achieve that state. For others, being on their own is better. I hate how society puts pressure on people with #relationshipgoals and all that shite.
I don’t regret anything that happened to me. Without the sum of my experiences I wouldn’t be who I am. Or have two lovely kids. It’s all grist to the mill.
If I have learnt anything, it’s to avoid overthinking things, be true to yourself and trust your gut.
Got together with the TV when I was 18 at uni so that’s been the vast majority of my adult life and it’s been wonderful. Feel incredibly fortunate to have grown together rather than apart in that time. I feel like she’s drawn parts of my personality out in a way which has been wholly additive to my life as well as each of is making sure the other has time to be their own person.
Met my partner just after I turned 21. Maybe spent 9 months in total over the 3 years prior in a series of mostly hapless romantic engagements
I have had three relationships as an adult.
I met my first major gf at 17, so I’m only counting from 18 until 23. Then I had a fling for about six months, then met my now wife at 25. So from ages 18 to 34 I’ve been in a relationship for 5+9 = 14 years of the 16, so 87.5%.
7yrs currently, plus two other 1.5yrs previously, so just over half of my adult life.
Fine with that, good mixture of mostly healthy relationships and mostly fun drunken bootycalls.
I established that homosexuality is not a choice.
So much happier being single.
Wait so there are people on here that have never been in a relationship?
Probably about 50%. Reckon i’d’ve liked it to be more like 30 or 40 but you cant have it all eh!!
Was in a 4 year relationship from 21-25 - we broke up and I was looking forward to an extended period of being single, playing the field etc. Completely bollocksed that up by meeting my current partner a few months later and we’re coming up to 3 years now. So yeah, 70-80% I guess?
Never thought I’d be the type to successfully be in a relationship when I was younger and was definitely surprised by how quickly I ended up in another relationship after the previous one ended, certainly didn’t see that coming. But I’m very lucky and very happy with it all, so y’know all good.