How much

Do you need a poo right now?

0=Not even a tiny bit. If I pushed and pushed hard right now there’d be literally nothing.
10=I actually will poo if I stand up.

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • 7
  • 8
  • 9
  • 10

0 voters

General poo-needing chat below.

Q. Why did the baker have smelly hands
A. Because he kneeded a poo!!!

Think I’m pretty much always in 4-7 territory

already done two today

think i’ve been drinking too much coffee


I’m at a ten and have been stuck on a conference call for nearly 45mins - pretty sure this constitutes torture right now.


you haven’t put 0 in the poll


^half-full of shit

At a solid 9 but actively working on something for a guy who’s leaving at 11. I could nip off and get it done, but because of the concentrated nature of this work he’d know exactly how long I’m gone for. Whilst this isn’t really an issue, I’d be very self-conscious.

that’s why you get a cordless phone

Just went for one about 5 minutes ago, bro. Finished the job, so would vote zero if I could.

Like I know I need to do a poo soon and I tried before the gym but was forcing it too much so left it.
I have since eating and drunk quite a lot and no movement. I will go push again in about 5 mins.

Likewise. One of those total clearouts when you step off the khazi feeling about 2 stone lighter and all the better for it.

1 Like

We’ve got those stupid headsets you have to plug into a computers for all calls and I can’t really get away with taking my laptop into one of the traps in the office loos.

1 Like

you say this like you sometimes go for a shite and stop halfway through?

1 Like

anything above an 8 is basically a medical emergency

Sometimes you could get a bit more out if you sat there for another few minutes, but time is money, japesy.

shit! sorry guys!

thread is null and void! (like Raanraals’ bowels)

everybody out!

This is exactly the level of detail we’re looking for with this thread which is, I feel, a new highpoint for

Paul is leaving soon, and so will be my effluent.


I don’t think this is possible, not in my world. There are always reserves.



I don’t think you should be pushing, just let it be