How prepared are you?



Are you equipped for all kinds of eventualities?

Have you got one of these?

Do you have a fire evacuation plan for your house?

Do you at least carry a condom?

Can you believe it’s still only 11:52?


A condom costs £11.52?

Mate, buy in bulk and you’ll save loads.


I am unprepared for most things that will happen.

If there is a fire in our house I will burn to death thanks to my gf’s insistence on locking the deadlock even when we’re in the flat for some reason.

I do not carry a condom, can’t imagine a more redundant item for me to have on me when out and about.

I cannot believe that as it’s 11:53!!!




For me, carrying a condom would be like wearing a Liverpool kit just in case Jurgen asked me to play.


i am getting weirder about end-of-the-world planning

wife was getting annoyed so i’ve had to buy things individually but i now have a chargeable + wind-up flashlight, decent hiking rucksack, pop-tent, water skin. i mean most of those things are also just for camping BUT i’m only one Russian threat press release away from buying lockpicks and PN-levels of food cans


I wonder if creaky ever got through his loft-full of pasta.


My colleague bought in a lock pick set the other day, it was really difficult to do, even when you can see the tumblers.


tbh you mainly just need a bit of sandpaper to get through most yale locks and in an end of the world scenario i’m not going to be fussy about who’s food i’m stealing


I have stocked up on the colour changing lightbulbs I like in fear they will be discontinued


I learned how to tie a bunch of knots a wee while age. figured that would be a useful apocalypse skill. forgotten them all now.

this post didn’t start out with ‘forget-me-knots’ as a punchline but that’s where I’ve ended up