How quickly can you make shit jokes?

So, I was walking past a shop for magic tricks and my colleague said “I didn’t know that was there”. There was the basic ingredients present for a disappearing act joke, but I failed to join them all up and the moment passed. How quick are you off the mark to make shit jokes? They do not have to be funny in the slightest.

Very, very slow as a general rule

Check my posting history.

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“It will have probably disappeared in a big plume of smoke by tomorrow”

1,2,3, it’s back in the room?

Oh, it’s not a hypnotherapy stand

Colleague, stupid: "I didn’t know that magic shop was there"
Me, cool: “Probably why she divorced you”

Why did the baker have smelly hands?

My worst joke is 7/10

A colleague walked past as I was eating beef hula-hoops earlier and said, in the direction of the crisps: “Mate, they’re the nuts”.

I, without hesitation, responded: “No, these are beef hula-hoops”.

So yeah, I’m pretty much Groucho Marx.

That’s exactly the sort of quick response I wish I could do

Is that you using magic shop as a euphemism?

It's been an emotional day


Even the car’s in tyres

Love a mechanic’s wedding.

Take solace in the fact everyone in my office fucking hates me.

that helps a little, thank you