How quickly could you get your hands on a chainsaw?


From now.

Just reading about when the Queen dies



Pretty sure there’s one in the office, going to say less than 30 seconds, but I might be wrong. We definitely have cutting tools.


Within 10 minutes - allowing time to get on my bike, cycle to the nearest DIY store, locate the power tools section and place my hands on said chainsaw.


Hour or so.


Office chainsaw, eh?


They probably have a team tree-felling session after work every Thursday, after complaints that the fußball tournaments were getting dull.



My stepdad is a gardener and has a couple and he lives 10 minutes away.


A gardener in London? Poor sod.


my pal has one and door to door is roughly a half hour. in the case of a zombie news bulletin i could be reasonably well armed fast, then, which is good to know


We live just south of Hampstead and all those houses with the huge gardens so it’s pretty cool good for him in terms of work.


There’s one at my parents house, probably 25 minutes away. Could maybe buy one slightly quicker.


Got one in the boot of my car (electric, chain is blunt) so about three minutes (I’m lazy so walk slowly)


Surely your pal would arm themselves with the chainsaw? They’d probably cut you up as soon as you came bursting through the door.


(Even though we can’t seem to see images today.)


Oh I can see images again!


fuck. but then again i know for a fact he has a week knee so i can at least try and cripple him before he can get me?


Me too!


It’s dog eat dog come the zombie apocalypse.