I know it might sound like an obvious answer… just do things you enjoy. But I never actually seem to enjoy anything fully. I’m always worrying or thinking way too much, often about things that don’t really matter. Or usually I’ll spend a LOT of time planning on doing something enjoyable, but the time spent on planning is not worth it for the brief time I’ll actually spend enjoying it when it does happen, or it doesn’t end up happening at all. There also seems to be endless options with everything (like when you’re discovering new music) that it’s impossible to know where to begin, so you just plan on doing everything but then you end up doing nothing.
Basically how do you stop thinking about things so much and just enjoy the moment? I never seem to do this. I’ve spent the whole of last year not properly enjoying myself (and the year went by scarily quickly for me, I don’t want this year to be the same). Even if I am enjoying something, I’m always preoccupied by how it could be even better. I’ve recently developed this habit where I just think about everything in terms of cost, time and productivity, and I usually end up feeling miserable (‘if only I spent more time on this, this would be better’, ‘is it worth spending the next 3 hours doing this?’ etc.).
I guess I think this way because I’ve always had things that I’ve really wanted to do, but I feel like I’ve wasted a lot of time not really doing anything productive, which probably shouldn’t be a big deal when you’re young, which I am, but I’m not 21 anymore either, which is starting to scare me because I haven’t really done anything with my life since then.
I know this might come across as a bit weird. I guess this is an #SSP thread. Basically, how do you stop thinking about such things and just get on with it?
It’s a hard one, wish I had a decent answer for you mate. I definitely felt this way all the time when I was younger. If I’m real with myself the only thing that’s really changed is that I kinda got old so it feels like there’s less to lose now, as such little things can make me happy…sometimes.
Also it’s age old advice but saying or doing something nice for someone else can really make you feel like you’ve earnt a reprieve from yourself for while.
Also, it’s OK to just be you. It’s your life and your brain, sometimes it’s ok to be unhappy if it’s about expressing yourself and workin through things.
Not sure if this helps but here’s an example: on Saturday, I went out for a walk with the family. It was about 9.45 when we arrived at the start of the walk and the sun was still quite low in the sky and the air was much warmer than it had been the previous few days. And I just walked along with my family in this beautiful low morning light with all the colours looking so vivid, and it just felt really really good, and I just drank in that feeling of well-being.
I know that’s not really advice as such. But I know that I find life hard sometimes and that I get easily disappointed, and that I can waste potentially enjoyable moments by fretting about unrelated worries. I guess you just have to seize those moments when you’re with people you love, doing things that you enjoy.
I’m watching Seinfeld for the first time and I think I like it but I’m not laughing at it. I can’t remember the last time I laughed at something that is supposed to be funny.
25 (I know I probably come across like a naive kid in this forum).
Weird because I didn’t think like this at all when I was 23/24. This is the first time I’ve started to panic about how ‘old’ I am (in relation to how much I feel like I’ve actually ‘lived’).
I don’t know why something as simple as a number feels like such a big deal, but it does.
Although given that people are living longer, getting on the property ladder later in life and getting married later, I think everyone can subtract about 5 years from their actual age, so I’m actually 20.
More seriously, that’s a lot of good stuff you’ve posted there. Hope punko gets summat from it. Regarding the starting point - agreed: 25 is nothing. No reason why there should have been any particular level of ‘achievement’ at, or in, anything in particular. There’s another half a decade of pissing about and fairly unrestrained fun to be had before questions about what the next half dozen decades of your life are gonna look like become more pressing.
It probably doesn’t add anything that offers a ‘way out’ but the OP read like a fairly standard description of the postmodern condition. Which, whilst not perhaps ideal, is nothing entirely unique and therefore something which is a shared experience, and so nothing to feel alienated by.
Those mindfulness people are onto something when they talk about just recognising sad feelings but not analysing them or devoting any time to them.
It really works. You just acknowledge them. Like, “oh there’s that sad feeling about (x) again, I’ll just let that float by”. Don’t engage with it, you can’t control when they’ll come but you can control how you deal with them.
