How to enjoy life

Yeah I guess but even things I know I like and find amusing I am able to sit through hours and seasons of them without breaking a smile or feeling any emotion

I think I am dead

I’ve been there. You can’t look forward to anything or enjoy anything. It’s pretty crap.

It sounds like you’re stuck in a rut and they can be hard to break out of.

Not impossible though.

Tell some people that you’re close to (and preferably close to geographically too) that you’re struggling. There’s absolutely no shame in it.

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I don’t really think there is any way to, it’s relentless. You just sometimes forget.


Feel free to PM me if you don’t have anyone to reach out to (@dots) . We’ve met three times - that’s close, right?

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I have very recently had epiphanies about pretty much all of these things, and you are absolutely correct. Especially the stuff about jobs.

I only applied to prestigious things in journalism or communications for months last year and got fucking nowhere with it despite my experiences and impeccable grades… then I got to the point where I couldn’t suffer in my cunty job while waiting to get into a ‘suitable’ job any longer, so took a full time job I thought was beneath me (ugh such a snob). I fucking love it here, have already progressed and found out I like and am good at things I never thought I would be. my life has changed immeasurably for the better since then and I am entirely sure I’d be less happy as a journalist. So yeah, letting go can be fucking great. We don’t know ourselves as well as we think we do.


Sometimes I like to just make a cup of tea and sit down and not have the TV on or my phone or anything and just enjoy it.

Like not force myself to enjoy it, just take it in, the quiet and the tea and just appreciate it.


Hope I can come in here for advice. On Sunday I had what I assume was a panic attack, it was horrible. I convinced my self I was going to die like literally overnight, even had MrS phoning 111 on what I’d probably the worst night of the year because I was so worked up. It was only talking through the symptoms with the lady on the phone that made me realise what it was, the lovely doctor ringing back at half one in the morning to check helped as well although by then I was feeling a bit odd about it all rather than panicking.

Since then I have been ill with a gastro flu, either in bed or on the sofa, feel and look terrible although better than I was and have no idea how I will get to work or even up and dressed on Thursday. I keep having thoughts about just quitting everything but even then if I rationally think it through I feel like I would still feel the same.

All of this has come since Sunday, I am never normally the panicking or depressive/anxious type (except around certain travelling things) so I just don’t know how to stop myself being like it. Even now I am feeling tight headed, panicy and like I just want someone to put me in a room where I can just do nothing. I can feel so much that this makes no sense and I will look back in a few weeks like what the hell? But currently am struggling …

What’s your hobby?

I’m beginning to think it’d be good to have a focused, structured and consistent interest in something…rather than periodically dipping into things for short periods (be it films, politics, reading…etc. Music is fairly constant but listening to music has to be the most passive hobby possible). Just not sure what yet.

(If you want to post this, the depression thread is a great place for people who have a shit ton of experience and help with this)

I’m really sorry this has happened to you and it sounds utterly shit. But it will pass. I always find that being ill really exasperates my feelings of anxiety and nervousness and paranoia so what you’re feeling now post panic attack and being ill is entirely normal.
But trust me, those feelings will pass. You won’t feel like this forever. It will be just a blip and if it does happen again, you’ll be better equipt to deal with it in the right way. I’d suggest reading up on techniques. Or listen to the Help Me Be Me podcasts. She has a few short episodes that are about 8 mins long called “power ups” for moments like this when you’re feeling rubbish and need to see out of it.
Feel better soon and msg if you want to talk further xx


I know it’s not old, it’s just that I feel I’ve done little compared to lots of people that age (other than take forever to finish my degree). I haven’t got much work experience, still haven’t learned to drive, never been in a relationship, still haven’t got any kind of career plan sorted etc. I just feel like I’m always going to be a few years behind everyone else in terms of ‘life experience’, unless it’s somehow possible to rapidly progress in some way. It just feels that in order to get a good job, you have to spend a few years getting other work experience beforehand, which I haven’t really done. I know it’s not really a big deal but it concerns me a bit.

I don’t understand why it’s suddenly less acceptable to go out to nightclubs and binge every weekend like a carefree student once you’re a certain age though (for example), and why some people in their late 20s/early 30s (or even younger) start saying ‘I’m getting a bit old for this now’, which makes me feel depressed because I still feel like I could do this forever. I don’t feel physically any different to how I was when I was 16, I still feel like I can drink loads, get drunk two nights in a row, and not feel particularly hungover the next day (just as an example). But I can’t remember the last time I actually went out on both a Friday and a Saturday night (which I used to do a lot), none of my friends seem up for it anymore.

Surely socialising and nights out get even better when you’re older as you typically have more freedom and money, and can afford much better nights out compared to when you’re 18, but a lot of people just want to stop altogether once they’ve finished uni (or at some point in their 20s), which I find a bit conservative and depressing.

Different things work for different people. It’s not so much about people “growing up” as finding out what makes them tick at any particular time of life.

One of the key things to realise though is that pretty much everyone is feeling their way through life and wondering if they’re getting it right - whether it be working out how to be a parent, learning skills for their career or learning about mortgages and pensions. You’re not ahead or behind, you’re just a bit different to some of the others around you.

@slicky really sorry to hear about this. Took me about 4 days to properly get over my first panic attack last year - as Meo says, it will pass over time, but in the meantime look after yourself, take things easy and don’t feel bad for leaning on your family to help do things you’d normally do yourself.


Thank you and thanks @anon76851889

To be honest just writing it all down has helped, that and MrS being lovely and giving nice advice like just go in the garden for ten minutes :grinning:, breath and look outside!

I have looked at the depression thread now and then, will have a proper read through in the next day or so. Xx


Look at them codexes *rubs hands * oh yeah…so good.

Love this. So getting back into painting this year, really missed it.

But there must be loads of hip people in their 30s/40s/50s etc. who want to go out and get pissed every Friday/Saturday evening and get home at 4-6 am. Not necessarily at student nights but at inner city bars and classy nightclubs where it’s exclusively 70s disco and stuff like that.

Not sure why nightlife is supposed to be only for people aged 18 and after that you just ‘move on’. I say that because I know someone who is 25 pushing 55, some people are just ‘old’ but age has nothing to do with it.

and also very right-wing…

and vice versa.

Cheers pal x

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I reckon that this is not as large a demographic as you seem to be suggesting.

This apparent concern about the ages at which people do things is unlikely to serve you well. But I’m gonna semi-contradict myself by saying that, at 25, there is definitely still a good decade of great nightlife to be had without you even beginning to get to the point where you’d start to look or feel ‘out of place’. That’s more time ‘left’ to have fun times out than you’ve already known up to this point. If you really wanna look at it that way.

But… :thinking: There seems to have been a shift in the focus of this thread from a consideration of whether fulfillment in broad terms is possible in the face of a sense of overwhelming ennui, to one more specifically about whether you’re missing out on great nightlife.


Agree with TheWza here. The dropoff in numbers still doing this in their late twenties/early thirties is huge. I love going out but am frequently left without people to go drinking with. It’s fine by me because I can go to a pub on my own and enjoy myself but it’s also a sign that there’s more to socialising tham drinking. I’m still learning that at the age of thirty but I’m getting used to it now.

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If problems come along and we identify them and find others going through the same, let them in talk through those problems with them, hopefully we’ll channel through some positivity with them. Who knows that’ll be a way to make new friends!? :slight_smile: