How Tough Are You? - Medieval Torture and Punishment Edition

I reckon in medieval times I could have been pulled apart by horses and not made even a whimper.

In fact on a hot day it’s probably a relief to have your arms and legs pulled off.

Let us know how tough you think you are.

If you could start each reply with “I reckon in medieval times…” I’d be delighted.

Oh and if you’re insistent on spelling it mediaeval I have no quarrel.

I reckon in mediaeval times I would have squealed before the thumbscrews were even brought out.


Ah, so not really very tough at all then.

But, still, brave of you to announce it on a forum known for it’s legendary toughness. So kudos to you.

Afraid not chief. There’s a reason I signed up for the force.

If I was being tortured I would say ‘I much prefer the medi to the evil!’.

Then we would all start laughing, crack back a few meads and hunt a few peasants down on horseback.


This is why I kicked you out of my D&D group.

Theres that bit in wolf hall where a geezer who’s gonna get burned as a heretic is in his dungeon cell mentally preparing and can’t even hold his finger over a candle for a second. I reckon in medieval times that would have been me.


Judas cradle:


  • piece of piss mate string me up
  • quite bad looking

0 voters

I have absolutely no pain threshold and am extremely tickleish. 0/10

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Appazo if you were burned alive it could’ve gone one of two ways. If they stacked the wood high, right up around your chest, and it was a still day, the fire would be so hot and the fumes so thick that you’d probably die from fumes in a couple of minutes before even really feeling the flames. If you were really really catholic/Protestant/a witch, they’d probably put just enough wood out to kill you and wait for the wind to pick up and then it could take 45 minutes of fire to kill you.

I wonder if you were going to be tortured or killed if you’d be better off just trying to bash your head really hard on a rock or something to get it over with quicker

If you really want to have nightmares about this stuff look up what they did to these two guys in Munster in C16th (I think?). You can visit the spot where they were brutally, brutally executed today and they even have the actual tools that were used hanging above the church entrance, I believe.

Torturers/executioners were wise to this. Key part of their skill set to stop this happening.

I am a very weak individual with zero pain threshold. Perhaps I would not have been in the middle ages though.

One of the dudes in Munster I mentioned tried to strangle himself on the neck brace he was in during the 45 minute ordeal, and passed out multiple times doing so. Each time they stopped the clock (45 minutes torture before death had been stipulated) and revived him before recommending.

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This is rough, ruffers.

Varsity level anal play.

he looks quite bored tbf

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that is evil

I’d just joust all of my enemies

They still have the cages hanging up iirc.

Loved that episode of Hardcore History if you’ve heard it.