How Well Do You Think You'd Perform On The Following Quiz Shows


ITV’s The Chase with Bradley Walsh
Tipping Point
University Challenge
Only Connect

The Chase: Reckon I’d get around £6000 in the cashbuilder round and safely take it home, would fancy our chances in the final chase if there were two of us left, I think any more than that leads to slower answers and speed is the name of the game.

Tipping Point: Would breeze through to the final as the questions are quite easy and the contestants are usually quite stupid, game of chance after that but I’d be confident of getting the jackpot counter out if The Machine was kind to me, would go for three counters every time obvs.

Pointless: Discussed elsewhere but started to apply for this before my gf pulled the plug on it, would be confident enough of making the final unless something really niche came up en route, would not get a pointless answer in the final though but would be happy with the trophy.

Catchphrase: Easy money as they let you keep it regardless don’t they, quite good at these usually but not confident I’d make the final as Mulhern’s gurning idiot face would distract me too much.

University Challenge: Ineligible as I dropped out.

Only Connect: Would be appalling at this but I’m fine with that as I’m not smug enough for it anyway, would be nice to pour scorn on one of Coren-Mitchell’s shit cleverer-than-you gags though.

Eggheads: A team of me, my gf, my Dad, my mate Joe and someone else (open to applications) would manage to take out Chris, Judith and/or Dave but Kevin and Barry would kill us in the final.


It’s hard because the BBC ones are more fun but barely worth the train fare. But fuck the ITV ones really.


Please do not be a snob.


No reflection on those who do enjoy them obviously


I have accidentally applied to be on eggheads, and I will not do well.
The other members of my team are proper quizzers, I only got asked because I’m mutual friends with them. I have no idea what I’ll do if I get on, which is apparently likely because we’re all young and we have some (gasp) women on our team.
I’m usually the guy in pub quizzes who thinks he has one answer in one round but is wrong.

So eggheads- very badly


ITV’s The Chase with Bradley Walsh: never seen it
Tipping Point: never seen it
Pointless: would like a go on this but cba with the application. Have got a few pointless answers in my time, so might do okay if the right topics came up.
Catchphrase: okay maybe
University Challenge: awful
Only Connect: awful
Eggheads: not very well


What about the other ones?


ITV’s The Chase with Bradley Walsh - OK
Tipping Point - Don’t know what it is, pal
Pointless - Think if I found someone with a lot of knowledge in my weak areas we could smash it
Catchphrase - Fine, not brilliant
University Challenge - Normally get 1-3 answers prior to a real contestant each show, would be a waste of a seat
Only Connect - Reckon I’d be worth a spot in 90% of teams, always win at Linkee, tend to be good at it, would be well up for a DiS team entry
Eggheads - Don’t watch it


Not sure, I don’t really like quiz shows.


I always win at Linkee as well!


Lot’s of people pretending they don’t know what Tipping Point is in this thread, Big Bad Ben Shepherd would be ashamed of you all.


I’ve now exhausted linkee and the booster pack, otherwise I’d challenge you (can we find a third member (@imaperv? @penoid? @Epimer? ) and get a DiS Only Connect team please


As has been well documented, I have been on Pointless. You can watch it if you so wish

Tipping Point - Brilliant, its pure luck really isn’t it?
Catchphrase - Dreadful, half of the answers aren’t catchphrases
University Challenge - N/A
Only Connect - Very very bad
Eggheads - As above


I don’t really want to go on Only Connect thanks but I wish you well in your attempts to get on there and hope you win it


ALEXANDER ARMSTRONG: And the first round is SPORTS

M-B: Mate I think you’re reading that wrong, pal


M-B: Maybe you should look closer cause I think that says ALBUMS BY SONIC YOUTH

RICHARD OSMAN: No it is you who is wrong–

M-B: (visibly readying his powerful Deus Ex typhoon augmentations) I THINK YOU ARE MISTAKEN


I need two (2) more members for my superstar DiS only connect team. [poll public=true]

  • I would like to join
  • I am a bad human who doesn’t want to meet Victoria Coren-Mitchell


Haven’t actually seen Only Connect so don’t really know what it involves, but I know for a fact that I’d be a total liability to any team because I’d be in the same room as Victoria Coren-Mitchell.



My Nan likes Bradley Walsh as a presenter but doesn’t like his album but doesn’t really like Alexander Armstrong as a presenter but has requested his album for her birthday.


On Eggheads, I would establish a culture of fear amongst the eggheads – planting the worry in each individual one that CJ is planning to murder them and then I would write an anonymous note reading “I KNOW YOUR PLANS” and send it to CJ so all the eggheads would be troubled


Ditto, she’s so unbearable we’d have to leave the room right! ^5