Bammers, this is beautiful!! I want them to make this so I can watch it :smiley: award worthy IMO

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I can imagine an episode where George is unemployed but desperately trying to find a job he can get furloughed from

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Will would be pretty lackadaisical about the threat because Bel Air is a haven of safety and class privilege but then Jazz would turn up from Philly in full PPE and be all “brothers be dying in the 'hood” and Carlton would be like “The actual statistical probability…” and then the phone would ring and aunt Vivienne would answer and it would be “Oh my god…”

Will: What is it Aunt Vivienne
Carlton: What is it Mom?
Ashley: Mom, you look like you’ve seen a ghost
Aunt Vivienne: It’s your father, he’s on a ventilator

…to be continued

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Perfect! Maybe Newman as a super spreader by being reckless when delivering the mail too.

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Kramer has already done it and gives him the idea of course

But Kramer just got Bob Sacamano to put him on his company’s books for a few months

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Frasier and Niles are aghast at the lack of opera, but are openly enjoying the opportunity to gossip about members of the Opera Society caught not wearing masks.

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Frasier & Niles would 100% host a private opera party at Frasier’s place with like just 7 guests at a time and his dad would leave to take Eddie for a walk and he’d let two more people in and then they’d argue about whether Eddie counts and then they’d have an argument about who would have to leave when his dad & Eddie came back from their walk and it would end up with everybody leaving and just Eddie & Frasier’s dad home on their own

this would be good but the Steinbrenner meltdown of the Yankees having to play behind closed doors might have some mileage too

Hulk would Smash.

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George eventually gets a job just in time for lockdown but then discovers he’s a key worker

Leslie Knope would be trying to insist she is an essential worker
Ben Wyatt would probably be inventing a new board game or some nerd shit
Ron Swanson, as a libertarian, would be at anti-mask protests
Tom Haverford would sink a load of money in faulty hand sanitizer
Anne Perkins would be swamped in at the hospital
April Ludgate and Andy Dwyer would be eating turkey chili off frisbees

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Andy would always accidentally go out without a mask

April would insist injecting bleach is fine

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Jeremy Jamm would catch covid and quickly recover announcing that “Covid 19… Just got Jammed!”

God I love Jeremy Jamm.

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Alan Partridge launches a new feature on his radio show called “Grassing with Alan”, encouraging listeners to name and shame anyone not following the Covid safety measures. This backfires after Alan is spotted not wearing mask in several garden centres and a Lidl in the Norwich area

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Chris Trager would be infuriating absolutely everyone by trying to find positives from the virus, including to people who had lost jobs/family members.

Unable to cope with his cheery responses to her gruelling experiences as a frontline worker, Ann leaves him.

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Jerry/Gerry/Gary would be insufferably posting about how great a time he’s having trapped inside with his wonderful family who are not trying to kill each other and are doing tik tok dances

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Lucille locks Buster in the house to keep him safe from the virus and bans all visitors, apart from Gene Parmesan (who she has hired to keep track of her family while they are banned from her flat). Gene appears at the door dressed as a test and tracer with a mask, which he rips off to reveal who he is - to Lucille’s absolute delight. having done so, he coughs all over Buster and gives him COVID. Lucille fails to catch the virus, as she is protected by her blood being 80% ethanol.

Lindsay protests about there being no lockdown. After lockdown is announced, she takes 24 hours to start protesting against lockdown, decrying its impact on her freedom to shop and have an open marriage.

Gob gets sucked into conspiracy theories and becomes convinced that coronavirus is the greatest illusion of all. Then he catches it and, in a feverish hallucination, comes face to face with an anthropomorphised virus, which he begs to learn how the illusion is done.

With the TV, movie and live performance worlds grinding to a standstill, Tobias is forced to take up the guise of Mrs Featherbottom once more and tidy up the model home, where Gob, the Fünkes and Michael and George Michael are creating huge amounts of mess, and improve family morale.

George Michael suggests to Michael that Ann bubble with them at the model home. Michael says, “Her?” and suggests that they should put family first, saying that George Michael can get all the female companionship he needs in lockdown from his cousin Maeby. George Michael squirms.

Ann tries to pray COVID away and says that the Lord will save her family.

The Living Classics pageant is overrun by a protest in favour of coronavirus by an unhinged religious group. George Senior as God, socially distancing from George Michael (playing Adam, due to Buster being forcibly quarantined by Lucille), attempts to flee so he can avoid catching COVID in prison. While he is fleeing, he accidentally runs in front of a man dressed as a virus, who is running towards the Veal family. Ann celebrates that God has saved her family from the virus. (The entire family come down with the virus a week later.)

Oscar gets long COVID, but no-one can tell because they just assume he’s really high.

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Michael refuses to let Bluth Company employees work from home. The employees mutiny when a COVID-positive Gob turns up at the office ranting and raving about what the anthropomorphised coronavirus told him.

Barry Zuckerkorn becomes the first person globally to be reinfected, after attending a disturbing sex party with people with a coughing fetish.

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“On the next Arrested Development”

  • J. Walter Weatherman is cast in a series of PSAs by the OC authorities to scare people into sheltering in place
  • GOB uses social distancing as an excuse to avoid Steve Holt
  • George Senior’s prison racket selling knock-off hydroxychloroquine inadvertently decimates White Power Bill’s crew
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Wirt has a nervy breakdown about whether he can see Sara ever again, Greg has a great old time because nothing bothers him ever. it doesn’t bother any of the rest of the characters because they are in the afterlife already

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