How's your depression?


#2008

Sorry to hear that Emo… You seem a good guy to me, even though it probably doesn’t feel that way right now and I’m sure eventually it will pass - it usually does sooner or later.

In the meantime, know that we care.


#2009

Thanks cz, I really appreciate it. I feel like the worst person for several reasons, and just like a huge let down. Yesterday I was having very dark thoughts when getting the train home and came pretty close to doing something stupid. Guilt is a powerful thing, not only can it make you feel awful but at the moment it’s pretty much the only thing keeping me alive.

Hoping that this evening alone in Munich ends up being a good thing.


#2010

I’ll keep my fingers crossed Munich does you good. As I said to pinkybrain, if you need to vent, my inbox is always available.

Look after yourself x


#2011

So, I know I don’t really post in here (think I have once or twice but mostly try to avoid tbh) but just wanted to give myself a public pat on the shoulder for having actually e-mailed a psychologist that my GP gave me a reference for (or whatever you call it over there) about a year and a half ago. No idea why it’s taken so long other than my brain just being a bit of a dick, but I’ve done it now! Remains to see if she’s got any availability, but you know, baby steps.

:muscle::muscle::muscle::muscle:


#2012

Good work WR! I too am often a dick about putting things off for waaaay too long, so I totally get where you’re coming from.


#2013

I mean, trademark of depression really ain’t it.


#2014

Can’t motivate myself to do my work. I feel like I’m a real idiot and I shouldn’t be doing this MA. Earlier this this year I got just 4 more marks than someone who wrote their essay 10 hours before the deadline (and I know he did that because I sat beside him as he did). Just can’t cope with it


#2015

4 marks is actually quite a lot

also you seem really smart, interesting and openminded so I’m sure you’re more than qualified to be doing academic work at that level x


#2016

Got a course of sertraline, will take the first one after breakfast. It’s a low dose, 50mg, but such a huge deal for me as I literally had a cough for 2 months this spring because I didn’t want to take any antibiotics, and basically have to feel like I’m nearly dying to take a painkiller. So taking antidepressants is massive. Used to feel good that I could cope without meds, like I was hard or something but obvz it did me no favours and there’s no shame in taking medication and no pride in going without. Modern medication is there for a reason and I’m an idiot for staying away from it for so long :unamused:


#2017

don’t worry about that, you’ve got to the right decision eventually so keep moving forward :+1:


#2018

You’re a wonderful person and I don’t see how anyone could see you as a let down.

You did good coming in here and posting and you should know that you can say anything without any judgement here, even if it’s just to get the thoughts out. Sometimes it helps to get them out of your head to make way for new (and hopefully more positive) thoughts

Much love to you as always xxxx


#2019

Don’t want to get ahead of myself but today was one of the best days I had mental health wise in ages?? I took 40000iu of vitamin d3 as well as the sertraline so it’s probably just the energy but I was just so focused all day, had loads of energy and wasn’t thinking nasty thoughts like how angry I am I work 8-5 instead of 9-5 or 8-4 (would think this like 5 times an hour) and instead of fucking about all day I actually did so much and cleaned up like 3 days of work in a day. I hope this isn’t a fluke because I am so happy, it’s like I’m not myself but in the best way. I’m not yawning all day or forcing myself to work, I just literally buckled down and did stuff this is all I ever wanted :sob:
Edit: I did read tho that even on the first day people feel giddy and I do a bit, hope this isn’t something that will wear off?? Also read that sleep can get messed up which I will hate if it happens. Taking drugs for my feelings is so terrifying and a weird territory so idk.hope it stays


#2020

Go JB!


#2021

I think I get what you mean. When I first started antidepressants years ago, and they began to kick in, I somehow felt like it was the first time in my life I was allowed to actually just be me and not having to feel defined by my depression constantly (which up until then was what I thought was being myself, if that makes sense). But it is for sure something that takes getting used to, I mean it literally changes the way your brain works. Important to give it some time to see how it affects you in the longer run, but I’m happy to hear it’s working out for you so far :slight_smile:


#2022

I really appreciate that Meo. I feel like I’m letting down a lot of people at the moment, and I know that not all of them are just me being paranoid.

I have a lot of thoughts I’m afraid to share, after writing them out for various reasons.

Sincerely thank you <3


#2023

If people are “let down” by your mental health issues then to be honest that’s on them. Please take care of yourself my friend, and as everyone else is saying, we care about you a lot :heart: I’m only a PM away if you ever need it. x


#2024

so worried I’m gonna be made homeless and get fired :frowning:


#2025

absolutey won’t happen.

If you ever did get in a dire situation like that I’m sure DiS would rally round and we could help you out financially so don’t worry


#2026

most either don’t know or just don’t get it so it’s hard for me to put it on them and I end up just internalising everything. Or have the view of the person that posted before ‘oh but you’ve got a nice house/are doing well at work’ etc etc.

Suffering from really impulsive behaviour too at the moment, self sabotaging, destructive or just the weirder things. Trying to be ok at work and in front of my family at the moment because they are picking up on things which is making it worse.

Thanks so much wr. x


#2027

Having A Bad Time this week.
But trying to remember that this will pass.

Sending my love to everyone who is also struggling at the mo :heart: :heart: :heart: