How's your depression?


Since I went through therapy I’ve become a huge advocate for it and as mentioned above found that for me at least it was much more useful than medication because medication would only treat the symptoms. I realise this does not apply to everyone but it really opened up my eyes about how much of the physical symptoms you experience are a result of psychological patterns that can be addressed. That’s the other big thing I learned, is that you are never stuck with who you are, if you think you’re damaged or broken and that’s just the way you came out then there’s a good chance that’s not actually true.

Since then, so often I meet people and get to know them and we all have our flaws and I just think, you need counselling, bit of therapy would sort you right out. I don’t really know anyone who is so grounded and well balanced that they could never use any at all, I know maybe one person (and who knows what’s going on with them inside). It’s really, really liberating, whether you have some deep-seated issues you need to resolve or just need someone to talk to, I still go occasionally just to keep myself in check and have a bit of a vent, I always come away feeling better for it even when I’ve talked about difficult stuff.


That’s the other big thing I learned, is that you are never stuck with who you are, if you think you’re damaged or broken and that’s just the way you came out then there’s a good chance that’s not actually true.

Thanks for this. It’s a simple but very easily forgotten thing, and I know from having worked out other issues that it is possible.


I had a frustrating time with the NHS as well. The first time I went to the GP about depression and anxiety because I had no idea what else to do, there was no google then and I didn’t even know counselling was a thing, most of what you see on TV is American shows where people like Tony Soprano see expensive psychiatrists and it’s really not the same thing.

My GP did refer me for some CBT on the NHS but he clearly did that because CBT was something he was interested in and his eyes lit up when he realised he could talk about it, I did get referred but came away from it frustrated because I did not think he had listened to be at all. Unfortunately I went for an initial review and was told that the waiting list for group therapy was six months and individual was a year - I had been considering suicide for a long time and blurted out that it was no good to me because in six months I’d either be dead or better. Fortunately, I got away from the situation that was causing so much anxiety and was better. By the time the hospital contacted me to start the course I had moved house and didn’t get the appointment. I’m not even sure CBT would have been the right thing at the time but I think it’s all the NHS offered.

Years later, under a new GP in a different town, I brought up the same issue again, was given a recommendation and told that basically, private is your only option and google is your friend. On the plus side, it’s not as costly as you might think and it is worth the investment in my view. I’m out in the sticks and started a few years ago but my therapist is £25 an hour, I did go once a week to begin with but you soon get to the heart of the problem and once you’ve gone over all the background stuff and it becomes about making longer term changes, once a month or even less will do. I’m not well off and I live on my own but I don’t regret doing it at all and I might not still be here if I hadn’t.


Seems like a lot of M9’s on here thinking about therapy/counselling (basically two words for the same thing in this country), I say try it, it’s not as expensive as you might think and you’ll be amazed at the effects it can have. It can take a long time to resolve deep-seated problems but you’ll feel better from Day 1 at just being able to get some of it out.

If you’re looking for pointers - and I had no idea how it all worked until I physically went, I didn’t really know private therapy was a thing and I didn’t know it was affordable - basically google is your friend. The body for therapists is the BACP, so if you look for someone who is BACP accredited then you know you’re in good hands. The Diploma takes four or five years and you have to do at least 100 hours of supervised counselling to become an accredited counsellor. If you google BACP counsellor in your area you’ll get loads of matches.

The one piece of advice I would give is to make sure you get a counsellor who feels right for you - they will all have different approaches and you’ll have different rapport with them so if one doesn’t feel right then try another. Many I think will give a (possibly free) consultation first so you can talk about what you’re looking to achieve and they’ll give you an idea of what route they suggest. My therapist is an older woman (as many/most are) who has been great and I couldn’t imagine talking to a bloke about what we’ve talked about, I just don’t think it would have worked (for reasons we have addressed!). So be honest with yourself about what you think you’ll need.

I think what I like most about it is that I always come away from it feeling normal, like I’m actually not a broken person and all the thought processes I go through are the same as everyone else, or at least not mental. This has continues to have an enormously positive impact even now, years after I first started. To be able to speak your darkest thoughts and have them just accepted by someone who nods and goes ‘uh-huh’ instead of running screaming from the room is very liberating. I go now because I choose to, not because I have to. The serious work has been done, I just go for a chat now really, it’s nice to check in once in a while.


You may possibly be able to get some for free, I have just learned in my area that some of the Diploma students offer counselling for free because they need the hours to get the Diploma. It’s a part time course so they’ll probably be older, it’s not like you’ll be talking to children and they will have a supervisor with them. You may need someone with a bit more experience depending on what you’ve been through but if you can’t afford it then this might help in the short term.


thanks yeah I should look into something like this. I think I might be able to go to a charity who support people who have experienced this type of thing. it’s not really something I would want to talk to a non-specialst about, or someone who I am not going to keep up regular contact with.


a good starting point for other people looking for therapies is to email a university counselling service to ask if they have a list of preferred providers who they refer their clients to

I did this for a friend who wasn’t a student and couldn’t access the university service and they sent me a list of local practitioners with all the specialisms, rates for each, whether they do reduced rates etc.


That’s a very good point. If you see someone who works for a charity then chances are they will have done the same training as the counsellors themselves have done - it’s all the same courses. I think they would legally not be able to speak to anyone without at least some of the qualifications.

If you find someone you could always ask them if they have done some CPCAB courses (that’s the examining body), they almost certainly will have done. They might even have gone up to Level 4 so they’re basically a fully trained counsellor the same as someone you’d go to privately.


I… I don’t know what to say right now. The whole mum has cancer thing is starting really take it’s toll on me. U just exploded into tears and claimed around unctrollably. I got to move out of this house (for those who don’t know I live with my mum and her boyfriend) and its getting harder snd harfer every day. The worst part is im now getting fallout from her boufriend because hes undetstandably upset and syressed and hes done a lot but its starting turn into sly digs at me and it manifests in ways that makes me feel com9letely worthless and makes me feel like I’ve failed as a son. I can’t see a nice ending to this. Things are going go real bad for me


[quote=“billywhizz, post:2251, topic:1916”]
The one piece of advice I would give is to make sure you get a counsellor who feels right for you [/quote]

This this this this, I went through ten sessions with a CBT therapist who I ended up being so unhappy with I wrote off CBT for ages but then went back and my therapist second time around was amazing and I could tell from the get go what a difference it was. Don’t be afraid to speak up if it’s not what you’re looking for, it’s your time after all.


Can’t begin to imagine how tough and stressful this situation is for you duck, so sorry you’re having to go through it.

We’re all here for you though, you can pm me anytime, I have experience of losing someone close to cancer fairly recently and I’m sure others here can also relate. Even if you just want to talk about dumb videogame stuff or whatever to take your mind off it.

Try to do something just for you this week and try not to feel guilty about it, I’m sure you are wanting to keep it together for people but you need to take care of yourself too.

I’ll be thinking of you and hope things get better and easier for you all soon x


really sorry you’re going through that man, it’s fucking rubbish.

you can only do your best, if your mam’s boyfriend is putting too much on you then just try to keep in mind that he’s struggling and that it’s a coping mechanism. idk what your relationship with him is like but i really believe you cant go wrong talking through that sort of stuff, tell him it’s hard and you need to stick together.

be good to yourself.


Only really know of these through activism stuff so couldn’t vouch for them as therapists but just to say this is a thing: Also not sure where you’re based but I think I’ve heard of a v reduced rate place in Southwark for those in the general area


I just want to follow up that I woke up feeling significantly better. Im not going to respond to messages individually but thanks to those who got in touch x

Just needed to let it out. Been bottling it up over Christmas and kind of erupted.


PM me any time, if you feel you need to rant or whatever then go ahead. Hope things get better ducky x


Please do this. I received trauma counselling last year and it has changed my life so much for the better. I sometimes feel like I could do with a wee top up every now and again (something triggering happened over the holidays and I felt like I needed to speak to her again.)

There are lots of charities out there which might be able to help. Mine was a church of Scotland one, specifically for mothers. But there are lots of bespoke organisations. Ask your GP. There are also lottery funded free services across thecountry. This is my local one-

I have a theory with trauma, that you shouldn’t get the counselling too soon after the event(s). your brain needs time to process it and let it manifest itself, However, as soon as you start thinking ‘right, this is affecting me badly now’ or ‘I think it’s time for me to open Pandora’s box and look at what I’ve been bottling up’, then don’t delay- get onto it. Happy to talk offline about this anytime. xx


tell you what, it’s kinda strange that we didn’t have a thread for this purpose earlier, it’s obviously been so helpful to so many people since the first one (which was started quite a while ago but a short time ago compared to how long many of us have been posting)



Not sure this thread would have worked five years ago. DiS was a very different place.


I was bullied by a few people on old DiS as were others. Doubt it would have worked. :smiley:


sorry if I was ever mean to you :frowning:

(and to other people who I might have been horrible to at some points, it really was a very different place)