How's your depression?


Yeah, you don’t have to link it to your Facebook anymore which is great


Can anyone explain to me why having a mental health diagnosis is sometimes considered bad? I’ve now heard this from a doctor, a psychiatrist and a friend of mine. I don’t get it and it’s sort of pissing me off.


I think it was mentioned in the thread Pocketmouse started for “neuroatypical” people (sorry, I can’t remember the phrase that was used) that you can find yourself in a situation where people will ignore your views or become prejudiced against you because of your condition - a typical example might be that it could be used as evidence against you in court to try and raise “reasonable doubt” about what you say or you may find that some services are less available to you, despite legislation supposedly stopping that.


I think i cured my fear of flying via exposure therapy.
I also used to have extreme anxiety about public transport, especially travelling on the tube etc and also sorted that by exposure therapy. I’m quite a firm believer in it tbh.


Ah okay, yeah that makes sense, thanks. I don’t know if this matches up with my experience, and arguably any diagnosis can have some degree of stigma attached to it. My concern is that I do have a diagnosis and I’m worried it’s not the right one, as I’ve been trapped in a cycle with treatment that isn’t effective.


I’m so exhausted, saps. it isn’t just this. I mean, this is me clinging to the last source of happiness I have known, because I feel like she is the last happiness I will ever know.

this sounds melodramatic, but it’s get harder and harder to trick myself into feeling enough self-esteem just to get out of bed, let alone do anything with my life.

I keep busy, social, but I have nothing to give, really.

people swear I’m not a bad looking person, but it’s an illusion. my hair is a car-crash - I wear a hat most of the time because it looks awful most of the time.

I tried cutting it all off - I was non-entity for months until it grew back; any sense of ego or self or whatever vanished, let alone a strong, positive sense of self.

medication or therapy can’t change my appearance. and it cannot change how I feel about it; how I feel is tied into how I feel about my gender, tied into the most fundamental parts of my identity. I cannot be somebody else, so I cannot overcome this.

so I don’t know what to do. I just labour through this cycle of increasing frequency, with the highs more fleeting and less noticeable.


Ahhh man it CAN change how you feel about it.

And how you feel about it will be the issue.

Don’t rule it out

Medication has literally changed my life this last year


I am at a critical stage of losing my hair, and any sense of who I am lies in my hair. this relates to both how I was bullied about my appearance in school, and how I feel about my gender.

there is no medication that won’t just dampen my feelings and leave me with nothing to live for. and I cannot become an entirely different person, so I cannot talk through this or change the way I think about this.


is there any way you can try to reframe sentences like this? You might be surprised what a difference it makes over time to use different phrases as silly as it might sound.

Maybe you could say some sense of yourself lies in your hair or that you aren’t aware of any medication that won’t dampen your feelings? It’s hard not to think fatalistically but if you can try to practice it a few times a day it might help.


have you explored that stuff about your gender identity m8? i know you’ve said before you don’t feel like you want to put any labels on it, but it might be a help to talk with people who have been through similar things… if nothing else trans and non binary ppl will have the tip top resources for talking through & dealing with dysmorphia.


I do know a few people who identify as non-binary. they told me they have regular talking groups. perhaps I should go to one.


It may be worth giving a go, even if it’s only to listen. For some reason I’d missed this side of everything you’ve said, but even just hearing I find other people talking about things from their own perspectives can often chime with me and help put some of my own thoughts in order.


I know what you’re getting at, Bam. it’s a smart way of looking at this. I know words are very powerful, and I’m sure there’s something in what you say.

I feel like this goes deeper than words, though. as deep as word go, I don’t think they have the power to change how I feel about this.


I have very little experience of medication. I tried antidepressants briefly but quickly gave them up when I discovered the side effect I’d drawn in the lottery was blocked orgasm.

However, I have had heard lots of positive stories of people who used medication in the short term. It doesn’t fix your problems but the best analogy I heard was that it’s like a cast on a broken arm. It doesn’t mend your fracture but it supports your arm while time and your body’s natural processes do the work. It’s a crutch.

Have you had any counselling for this?

Having met you I would echo that you’re a good looking guy. Your perceived problems with attracting people are much more likely to be as a result of a mixture of bad luck, attitude and self-confidence than looks.

It worries me to hear that you’re so despondent. You should definitely get yourself to your GP and find out what programmes exist to help you. As well as prescribing medication your local NHS service might have well-being clinics and mindfulness programmes, it’s worth checking out.


yeah everybody’s experience is different, I’m afraid all I can really say is that for me emotions have changed slowly over many many years, so there’s that, also that you are loved on here and we all want to help and see you feel better if we can :slight_smile:


I only mentioned it in passing a few times. it’s something that makes life very difficult, and I try to shut it out as much as I can, even if this causes deeper issues.

I think I am mostly “straight”, for example, but when your gender feels unmoored from the traditional binary genders, it makes it difficult to navigate this area. I wonder if my dysphoria affects how I feel about possible unexplored areas of that part of my life.

and either way, being “straight” is so tied to the masculinity that makes me so uncomfortable that it is hard enough to reckon with such relationships without plunging into self-loathing as a result.


Gotchya. It’s difficult for me to empathise as I identify as a man and straight myself, but I from what you say it makes a lot of sense that your sexuality (straight/bi/etc) can only really make sense in the context of where you sit in terms of gender; and if that’s confused it must make it extremely complex to navigate.

One thing that springs to mind (and it might not be helpful) is that it may help to try to steer away from labels such as “straight” etc for the time being if you haven’t considered it; at the end of the day you’re attracted to the people that you’re attracted to regardless of how it’s defined; if you can avoid mixing that all up in the gender-typical language that is currently extremely common by simply thinking of it more that way then it may help you navigate those areas a little more easily while you (hopefully) are able to get a handle on the dysophoria.

Either way, I hope you’re able to find some comfort somewhere soon - you seem a good sort mate.


Need to stop going to bed at 9 every night cos I prefer sleep to being in my own head


I do this too :frowning:


swap plz.