How's your depression?


Tbh I have no idea. But I don’t think it’s all that surprising that you’re feeling like that. It’s like some form of PTSD, no?

Music can take you back to a moment so easily, even if its a happy memory, and I think you’ll probably always find it hard to shake that association I’m afraid. But I suppose what you do need to do is look at how far you’ve come and the further you get away from that moment (literally like next year), you’re probably gonna feel different.


It’s like I KNOW what to do to make it better cause I had CBT for my insomnia (sleep hygiene FTW) but I can’t bring myself to actually do it.


I’d say I need a few days off but I’m finding it a bit hard to be relaxed at the moment so don’t even think that will help! I’ll just have to see how it goes. But thank you for the warm wishes. And the little jazz hands hug man :smiley:


I’m only guessing really, but from the way you talk about it being about things you can’t shake and “emotional baggage” you want to let go it sounds a bit like there’s some unresolved stuff going on somewhere, so I don’t think it can hurt to bring it up - with their training they’ll no doubt quickly tell you whether my suggestion is utter bollocks or not!


Aye. Tbh I often ended up reading or playing games until I was dropping my phone/kindle falling asleep out of pure exhaustion. Not a good way of dealing with it, but just lying awake for hours at a time really wasn’t doing anything for me :frowning:


Yeah I guess. The first time I went to the hospital they sent me home and said they didn’t want to hospitalise me as it would be too traumatic, but when I went for my follow up the next day they changed their minds as I was in a pretty terrible state. That sticks with me too I guess. And I wonder where all the other people are and how they are doing, idk. I met someone who had walked out of his job as a chef and biked to Brussels. I hope they’re all ok.

I know you’re right about music, of course. I guess it’s just the intensity of the feelings after so long that is surprising.


i’ve never been hospitalised, but had a similar thing a few years ago, stopped sleeping and my general anxiety and depression evolved into actual psychosis, like my brain started making connections between things that were completely unconnected, I started to believe I was responsible for everything bad that had happened to everyone I knew in some weird supernatural way and I could envision all these disastrous events that I would be responsible for, basically completely lost my mind but at the time I felt like I was more rational than I had ever been, was off work for 6 weeks each day determined to end it but never could, had a lot of contact with mental health teams but always kept quiet as I knew how bad it would sound but truly believed it, eventually realised I’d better go back to work because the longer I left it the harder it would be, the routine seemed to put my brain back together again pretty quickly. I’m pretty much back to normal now, I think I have a good understanding of the pressures that lead to ending up in that state so doubt it will happen again, but can’t help thinking about how I really lost the plot once and how I couldn’t even recognise it at the time, and worry about how much worse it could have been if my circumstances were different


this sounds similar to what happened to me in some respects. i was being badly bullied at work and looking back i was super anxious, but self-diagnosed myself as being depressed. i couldn’t sleep and stopped eating and lost about 7kg. when i went to the doctor and described my symptoms he gave me antidepressants, which pushed me over the edge. i was just doing all kinds of dumb things apart from not eating and sleeping (which is enough to send you bonkers), spending shit loads of money, going out a lot, having an affair, turning up to work drunk (on no sleep), lying to everyone about everything… i was actually having a “fantastic” time until i ended up completely losing it and my life fell apart. i was hospitalised, off work for 2 months, then quit my job, then my relationship fell apart and i left vienna as i felt there was nothing left for me there. i then decided i wanted to be a freelance english teacher so i moved here and did that for a year. i just went back to office work in december and it’s been the greatest for my mood, as you say the routine is putting my brain back together. that and my “new” boyfriend, who is the greatest at understanding and who has put up with more than most people ever would.

i know what you mean about how much worse it could have been if circumstances had been different. afterwards people told me all kinds of things, that they were worried i’d step out in front of a car by accident, or they thought i was doing meth (i actually did no drugs during that whole time, i just felt like i didn’t need them), or that i would die from starvation or something. thank god none of those things happened, or worse.

glad to hear that you’re pretty much back to normal now :slight_smile:


I’ve only met you briefly once but that brief meeting has always stuck in my head as there’s some people who are obviously thoroughly decent and “rich” (not money, more as a person) - sorry to hear of your struggles. Good to hear everything’s reaching a relative equilibrium.


no pressure intended btw…progress is never smooth with cbt, i found


No worries man :+1:


sadly no surprise that there’s a hell of a lot of people who could do with this thread


Very much established in a proper low once more. Not really sure what can help me this time, as the last thing that jogged me up into a more neutral mood for a bit was an increase in my meds, but I am now on the maximum dose of both escitalopram and pregabalin so there is nowhere else to go with that.


I’m out of meds but cant get a doctor’s appointment and starting to worry about what I might do


sorry you’re feeling bad at the moment, feelings can change slowly over time so please don’t give up hope. We’re all here for you!


same for you DB, please take care of yourself and maybe break it down into surviving the next hour if that helps, sometimes I know you might not even be able to bear thinking a day ahead but step by step you can do it :slight_smile:

Anything calming you can get involved in to give your brain a rest? Comfort TV? Sudoku? Stroke a cat?

Hope you feel better soon!


I have comforts… I just want a long long rest


It is horrible when you run out. Is it just a case that you can’t get an appointment because the doctors and/or you are too busy? Maybe you could see if you can get a telephone appointment, or if you can put a repeat request in in writing if you don’t have an actual repeat slip? I hope you can find a way to get them sorted soon x


maybe an early night could help? Sorry you’re going through this regardless


this is very sad :frowning:


I dont even know. I think I need help.