this sounds similar to what happened to me in some respects. i was being badly bullied at work and looking back i was super anxious, but self-diagnosed myself as being depressed. i couldn’t sleep and stopped eating and lost about 7kg. when i went to the doctor and described my symptoms he gave me antidepressants, which pushed me over the edge. i was just doing all kinds of dumb things apart from not eating and sleeping (which is enough to send you bonkers), spending shit loads of money, going out a lot, having an affair, turning up to work drunk (on no sleep), lying to everyone about everything… i was actually having a “fantastic” time until i ended up completely losing it and my life fell apart. i was hospitalised, off work for 2 months, then quit my job, then my relationship fell apart and i left vienna as i felt there was nothing left for me there. i then decided i wanted to be a freelance english teacher so i moved here and did that for a year. i just went back to office work in december and it’s been the greatest for my mood, as you say the routine is putting my brain back together. that and my “new” boyfriend, who is the greatest at understanding and who has put up with more than most people ever would.
i know what you mean about how much worse it could have been if circumstances had been different. afterwards people told me all kinds of things, that they were worried i’d step out in front of a car by accident, or they thought i was doing meth (i actually did no drugs during that whole time, i just felt like i didn’t need them), or that i would die from starvation or something. thank god none of those things happened, or worse.
glad to hear that you’re pretty much back to normal now