How's your depression?


#2528

@incandenza these talk things sound like a great idea like everyone’s said. If you’re not feeling up to it or too nervous or anxious or whatever I’ll come with, no bother. Also it’s really satisfying that you got a green icon to go with @greenarrow.

@scout I’m terrible for replying so sorry if I’ve left you hanging at any point. I know what you mean about cancelling stuff due to anxiety tho, I used to do it a lot but idk how I improved with it. Just by faking being confident and repressing my urges to not do stuff that I knew I would enjoy if I actually did. Also I had a dream that Gary Kasparov the Russian chess guy crashed into your car last night (you had a car) and he was a total dick about it until I told him we knew he was Gary Kasparov the Russian chess guy (I don’t know what Gary Kasparov the Russian chess guy looks like). It really upset you, but I said I’ve got your back if you need it at the time and I still mean it in the IRL.

This is stupid but it’s v sincere. I’ve been feeling really run down due to anxiety stuff lately, mainly due to work which should be dialling back a bit soon, and going away for a wk helped massively, but also I’ve been to the drs and talked about it and done blood tests and an ECG which is worrying but I think it’ll make me feel better when I get the results. Idk. I think the fact that I’m dog sitting for my mam and dad for a couple of wks from the end of next wk is setting me off as well coz the easiest way is me staying at their house alone coz their dog cba with our dog and she’s old and not well so it’s not fair on her.

Tldr, this thread is a bit much for me sometimes, I dip in and out and it’s so lovely to see people helping each other out. You’re all the best :heart:


#2529

I’m in a real fucking pickle.

Been off work because of stress. Absolutely constant, manic stress caused by work-related problems - huge workload, passive-aggresive bullying, colleagues who basically do fuck all.

I’ve addressed the matters privately over a number of months but bar the workload they’ve not got better. It’s had a huge effect on my mental health and more recently my physical health in the way of what to me feels like kidney problems, but are as yet undiagnosed despite months of tests.

Anyway, to cut a long story short they’ve offered me a redundancy, not a lot, it would equate to around ten weeks rent, essential bills and food. I have about this amount of money at hand as well, so about five months of frugal spending, bar any emergencies.

My issue is that work is causing serious stress, the stress i’m pretty sure is causing me to be physically ill. The people responsible for the stress have been spoken to but can’t be dismissed despite gross misconduct because ultimately it’s my word against theirs. Going back to work is going to be quite hostile, but being off work is also having quite a negative impact on my mental health and job interviews seem a million miles away.

Know it’s a hard question to answer, but what would you do, assuming all avenues in resolving the issues have been exhausted and there’s nowhere else to go in terms of disciplinary? In one sense, it seems a small amount of money, but maybe it’s best to draw a line under it. On the other i’d be giving up a comfortable job and the thought of having no money and being out of work long-term scares me, and most importantly the ethics of good hard-working people leaving jobs because of bullies and skivers doesn’t sit well with me, but…y’know, health and that.


#2530

Definitely worth having a cursory look at other positions available in your field innit, you don’t want to quit due to stress (which would be totally understandable) only to pile more on with an arduous job hunt.

If, on the other hand, there’s plenty about then I say get the fuck out of there, have a month or so to clear your head and then have a fresh start elsewhere away from the bastards.


#2531

sorry to hear that it’s been a shitty time

from what you’ve said, it sounds like you’ll have enough money to cover being out of work while you get better and then find a new job

i ran away from a job a year ago and it was a very good decision, it was only after i left that i realised quite how much it was messing with my head


#2532

sending big love your way jazzyb :blush:

edit: and the way of everyone else, won’t tag you all but just to say everyone’s thinking of those going through a sihtty time


#2533

Mate, that sounds properly shite. Sorry you’re going through it. In the event of any hypothetical Moorfields Eye Hospital appointments I’m literally 3 minutes away at work so give me a shout if you ever need any short-notice assistance or owt innit.


#2534

Tough one. For me I would take the money and run BUT dependent on how likely I thought I could find something else. If like you say the place is not going to properly act and take further disciplinary action, and therefore you’re likely to be returning to a work environment that is going to be hostile, I’d fuck it off if I could. Work environment is a biggie for me, more than workload or other pressures. If I feel I’m going to have a day to day battle as soon as I get through the door, that just isn’t a long term sustainable option for me. Would feel bad that you would feel ‘driven out’ but if that’s the work environment and culture then you’ll probably look back and think thank fuck I left that place.


#2535

there are some things that people regret in life, but leaving a bad work situation that’s making them ill is not one of them


#2536

I’d take the redundancy, take a small amount of time to reset / re-balance, and then look to find something else. If you can afford to live frugally for five months, you can ostensibly afford to spend a month just focusing on replenishing your physical and mental health, and then devote 4 months to finding more work - which, if all your doing is looking for work and living within your means, is quite a substantial amount of time. No job is comfortable enough to compromise your physical and mental well-being, in my opinion. Taking a small risk in the short term might really pay off in the long term.

Of course I have no idea what line of work you’re in, but even so, I think you have the resources to re-situate yourself.


#2537

also re: the ethical / hard-working side of it, I think it comes down to how you frame it in your head. It’s not a slackers way out to take a redundancy to side-step such a high level of workplace strife; it’s a re-assertion of fuck this, I’ll put in my shift and my hard day’s graft somewhere that offers me the bare bones of support and doesn’t take a huge toll on my health. Which is not very much to ask at all.


#2538

This would 100% be what I’d do as well. No workplace is worth sacrificing my health over and I’d look at the pay as an opportunity to get out without so much worry about needing to find an alternative job to walk into.

@bugduv this may have already been talked about with the offer, but it may be worth asking if they would consider giving you pay in lieu of notice as well given the situation and that. They may tell you to go jump, but nothing ventured nothing gained.

As for the feeling of being forced out when the others should have been - it’s going to be tough to get your head around it, but ultimately it’s a case of you not wanting to work for a company that isn’t going to take your issues and mental health seriously enough. Some jobs simply aren’t worth the stress they put you through and this sounds like one of them.

Whatever you decide, do try and keep looking after yourself mate x


#2539

I would really consider getting a bit of advice from a lawyer if you can. If it is that bad you may be able to claim constructive dismissal. Very hard to prove but continually failing to address bullying can be a ground.

I know I always ask people this and sorry if you’re not but are you a member of a trade union? They will help you reach a decision about whether the redundacy amount is fair. If you have been there a while it really doesnt sound like a good deal to me tbh.

Really shit that you’re going through this. Im sorry :frowning:


#2540

Even if the hey do I’m sure you could get a sick note for your notice period. This is a pure shite situation to be in tho, best of luck to you big man @bugduv


#2541

Before you decide anything you need to get legal advice, and acas are brilliant and free- http://m.acas.org.uk/index.aspx?articleid=1410

That might be a shit link, this machine is a law unto itself, but acas.org

Raising a grievance when you are unwell is difficult and a lot of employers rely on this when they behave badly. It sounds like there are systemic failures at your workplace which amount to a breach of their duty to look out for your health and safety.

I’d get some advice from the good people of acas and if you have the energy, start looking around for other options. A break is sometimes what is needed (esp if you are feeling physically exhausted) but that aside, in my experience, if you’re a grafter, a break can be stressful in its own right. Do you have a timescale to make a decision (sorry, can’t scroll up on machine while posting).


#2542

There’s two people up there ^^ who can offer way more actual useful and practical advice than me, and you are probably best off listening to them, but I wouldn’t say I was too far off what you were going through a couple of years ago (although the bullying didn’t bother me, but I can see how it would).

I made myself ill at work, and pretty much ran myself into a “do something quickly or be destroyed” position. Although it sounds pretty dodgy what they’re doing in LEGAL terms, I think it might be a good catalyst to think is it worth it? You can be in the right, you can fight the system, but if you’re going to get a middling to fair pay off for simply leaving something which you hate, and walk into a job in 3 months that will be better for you in the long term, that HAS to be preferable. As I say, I’m not saying what they’re doing is right or even close to fair, but ultimately it has to be about what you as an individual come out of it the other end looking like. Its very hard to make a sensible calculated decision in this situation because as you say, it feels like they’ve won (which, I really don’t think they will have), so you have my sympathy.


#2543

Think Ive got my dosage wrong… I hadnt been taking anything and took 40mg and I think I might have to get sent home from work cause I feel like I’ve taken something else. Someone cancelled on somehing at work (much to my detriment ) and I started laughing and announced it to my colleagues (who did kinda laugh too tbf). Maybe its normal to feel elated idk.


#2544

Sounds like the kind of thing that happens when my dosage has been increased in the past and I’m in that stage of adjusting.

Things around me feel a little bit unreal, I feel a bit spaced out or fuzzy headed - or just a bit manically crazy, somehow. It’s really hard to describe…


#2545

I feel like im floating…


#2546

Yeah, this is how I felt when I first started out… it was like I was living outside my own body.

Take care for the rest of the day DB.


#2547

Yeah - absolutely that feeling… weightless, almost out of body. Definitely sounds like your body / mind isn’t used to the level of dosage.

Don’t think it’s anything to worry about - it’s not like a major OD and will ease off…