Just want to echo what the others above and say you’re not a bad egg buddy.
It only feels like drinking is helping tho bam, I was in the same place with codeine and weed earlier this year. A momentary high or distraction but which makes your reality feel all the more harsh and cold when you come back to it. Obviously this is the part where I tell you to cut that shit out because it isn’t making anything better.
RE: yr sense of hopelessness, I find that the hardest thing to offer advice on because I feel the same way. I’ll hazard that it’s such an internal feeling closely bound up with your own sense of identity at this point that it’s almost impossible to imagine what other feeling could replace it were you to flick a switch and get rid. In a weird way that and the misery are so pervasive they can trick you into thinking they are you - imagine getting the flu and thinking that’s the correct way a healthy person should feel. Dunno if this makes sense I’m still a long way from stable myself. But I think it would help to try and do what I’m trying to do, which is to contextualise the bad thoughts and feelings and realise they can be dealt with (or at least fought to a stalemate), but without isolating them at the same time, since that’s essentially repressing how you really feel. Really hope you can get the ball rolling dude.
I really just want to die, not as a call for help because of the people around me I know I can’t, but I definitely want to as soon as I can and I’m not sure why that’s considered bad.
Any way you can change your situation?
I’m so sorry, how can we help you?
I did Sertraline for 2 months (takes 2 weeks to 4 to actually kick in) didn’t suite me though. Moved on to Matazipan after. Was great. Sorted me right out! Now completely off them all. How’s it for you? Sertraline gave me these weird electric shock feelings and the sensation of falling??
Yeah you are talking a lot of sense here. I’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself to become well overnight.
going to go a day without alcohol today, wish me luck x
You’re certainly not the only one to think that, and it’s a pretty difficult question for everyone. I’m not sure how to answer it myself, because I agree with it but feel conflicted about it. I am sure that I don’t want you to die.
Has there been stuff going on recently? Feel free to vent.
I’m taking a few days off too Bam! We can do it together.
team work. My plan is to just try not to worry too much about my future and get plenty of exercise. Luckily it’s a nice sunny day here so I’ll go for a walk soon.
You can do it!
You can do it Bam.
Posting cuz I think I’m ready to accept that my depression is a big fucking problem and it’s destroying my life.
Had a total meltdown in town today, it was horrible. I am absolutely knackered. My boyfriend has done so much to support me and try and make me feel better but it doesn’t work, and I can see it’s hurting him. Today I was ready to walk away from our relationship to spare him the hassle. I should probably see my doctor.
sounds like you’re a gentle nudge away from seeing your doctor already… do it
dunno if anyone else has tried this, but I’ve recently started journaling, it seems to help quieten thoughts for awhile if you articulate them properly every now and then, I guess that’s why this thread is good
Just worrying / being angry at myself about everything at work. Like I make a typo in an email and (trigger warning) get home and carve the word into my legs a half dozen times. Everyone at work is really supportive when I panic about things but telling me to relax really doesn’t help at all. My dreams now are just replays of every single mistake I make so I don’t escape it even in sleep. I just wish I’d actually get criticised when I do something wrong because maybe that would help? But it’s always just talk about being new and learning and “doing great” when I’m clearly making a mess of things. There are volunteers doing a better job which makes me feel ridiculous for getting paid.
They’re going to realise all this at some point and feel like they’re stuck with me which will be wonderfully awkward
most people don’t really care if you’re great at your job as long as you aren’t impacting on theirs. I’m sure you’ll be absolutely fine.
Starting to feel like there’s no point in living again. Not sure why I’m posting this here really
I don’t know you, and I’m hardly a regular so you won’t know me either, but from what I’ve seen of you you are a really decent person and very creatively talented. I know it can be really tough to see the point in things over the longer term - I struggle with it myself - but you and your contributions, certainly here and I assume in your day to day life, are definitely valued and would be sorely missed. If nothing else, you help other people know that they can cope; you’re always quick with support for people here who are having a tough time and that is a really true good. Hope you’re feeling better today.