How's your depression?


#385

Can’t stop worrying at the minute. Constantly going over and over trivial stuff in my head that i know doesn’t matter. Out of nowhere i’ll remember something someone’s said, or a situation that hasn’t even happened yet, and make myself totally manic with worry. It’s almost all work-related - silly issues with a colleague that never get sorted out, to the point that i go in in the morning already mentally worn out.

Recently i’ve started getting a ridiculous amount of health problems - colds or flu every other week, a regular bad stomach, headaches, dizziness, teethache, then i’ll feel fine and i’ll hurt my back, or get earache. Every day something different. On looking into it i see this is a regular symptom of stress, but i can’t see how that works.

My attention span’s completely broken. I can’t, say, sit and read a chapter of a book or even listen to an album. The closest i get to relaxing is doing three or four things at once, but my mind always comes back to the issues that are worrying me, then i dream about them and wake up worrying. I’m trying to sort them out as methodically as possible, but it’s like an itch i can’t scratch. I can feel myself acting erratically but don’t feel able to stop it.

Not sure where to start, really. Exercise, probably. Feel like i’m having a nervous breakdown. Mainly want to know if a) people have experienced similar symptoms, and b) how you started feeling…better and what that involved.


#386

yeah, this sounds a lot like what I’ve been going through.

with the worrying, is it like catastrophising? are you imagining conversations, scenarios, that kind of thing? with me, I would get stuck with something looping round, or just some terrible version of events playing out. might not be the exact same thing, idk.

this has been accompanied by most of those physiological symptoms you mentioned, and the attention span thing.

when you talking about feeling yourself acting erratically but it being out of your control, that sounds very familiar. it’s all impulse stuff, like that part of you is haywire whilst the deeper cognitive side has fallen into disrepair?

I can’t say I’ve completely overcome all of this, but I’ve been coping a bit better. I did have to quit my job, though.

I feel like I need to pick up this book again:

(I know, reading is one of the things it’s hard to do)

it helped change my perspective with regards to mindfulness, being aware of when my impulsive side is about to take over (in a bad way - obviously it’s important for lots of good/important functions), when my cognitive side is tired, how to stay balanced.

I did take Venlafaxine for a bit, which helped with the worst symptoms of the stress/anxiety - heart pains, feeling like I had the flu, headaches, etc. then I came off it cold turkey. not recommending that, I just felt like I had to. kind of rebooted my brain a bit.

I don’t know, to be honest dude, I’m just throwing my experiences out there. I recommend you see your GP and try and get some old fashioned therapy or CBT, because everyone is different. good first step seeking advice here, though.


#387

This is basically me especially the attention span bit. Seems to have developed into a huge problem over the past year.


#388

Same as ever. Have spent most of the day in a bit of a mess mulling over the mortality of people I care about and the pressure to exist, or be happy, or doing anything at all.


#389

My attention span is broken too, though for me I don’t think it is anxiety related just too much internet. I’ve found its worse on days where I spend my commute browsing, the rest of the day I am in that restless slightly agitated mode, constantly checking my phone. Whereas if I spend the commute listening to a podcast or audiobook it sets me up better for the day.

I’m also trying to only check the Internet once an hour, and even when that rolls round trying to hold off for 15 minutes when I get the urge try and build some will power stamina (sadly this site is probably the worst temptation, everything else is slow moving enough to not miss). At weekends I try and watch documentaries, even if I get distracted at least there is something partially holding my attention for a couple of hours. Trying to build things like reading and playing music into routines that will compel me to spend time on them. I’m pretty bad at keeping to this but the days I do I feel a lot better, like my brain has been replenished and the nagging agitation isn’t there.


#390

had a bit of a mini breakdown this weekend. i’ve been really down and stressed out for a while, and particularly feeling really alone, and then i compounded all of that by spending the entire weekend completely freaking out and arguing with/being a cunt to the one person i have in my life who actually really loves and cares about me. that and thinking about killing myself a lot.

now i’m feeling really weird cos obviously things are going to take a while to get back to normal and i’m not really up to dealing with that right now. had sort of hoped that when we woke up this morning everything would be fine, but obviously that’s not really how life works.


#391

hugs and support to you!

just take today hour by hour, try not to think too much though I know that’s pretty hard sometimes. Standard advice really but maybe go for a short run later today if you find the time?

You’ll make it through this :slight_smile:


#392

thanks bam :hearts:

all good advice, and much appreciated. was thinking i might try and run or cycle a bit later.

hope you’re doing okay! :slight_smile:


#393

I’m still here! Sometimes that’s good enough :slight_smile:


#394

very true. sending love and support back! :slight_smile:


#395

when i feel really shit i try to take pictures of myself and what faces i pull to not make me feel so shit and sometumes it works.


#396

handsome man, good beard!


#397

I love this.

I’m super lucky that I don’t really suffer much from mental health issues but I do think about everyone in this thread quite a lot and read everyone’s posts and would like everyone to be as okay as they can be x


#398

Totally ^This


#399

This was what finally drove me to get the doctors and get seen to. I spent a week in the Lake District with the wife and our kids and everything just went wrong. I was a complete pain in the arse to be around all week and this continued when I got back to work and I was just lashing out in all directions and making a total prick of myself. In a moment of clarity I booked three days off work to decompress a bit and called the doctors who put me on Sertraline which has really helped.

Good luck with it all!


#400

Feeling very strange about impending moving country/changing job etc. I move on Friday, and I’m really excited and completely feel that it’s the right thing for me to do, but then there is this flipside where I keep questioning what the fuck I’m doing leaving behind everyone I love. Spent the weekend with my family including my 4 year old niece and it really hit me that I"m going to miss so much of her growing up.I know it’s the right decision but it is definitely making a really stressful conflict in my head.


#401

My GP has managed to expedite me seeing a psychologist :relaxed:
I should receive my first appointment ‘in a few months’ :disappointed:


#402

it’s crazy how long the waiting lists are, my mum probably sees hers about 3 times a year!


#403

Had a massive burst of energy in the last few weeks, which on Saturday concluded with unproductivity and saddens, which culminated in crying to my gf and thinking that I wanted to die.

The death thing I have quite often, I think I’m just overwhelmed by life at points and I’d just like to not be so overwhelmed all the time. I don’t really get social cues too well and I often feel like people see me as just a weirdo, because I can be a bit strange. Ahhhhh


#404

we’re all a bit strange here I think, nothing wrong with that ,your life has value :slight_smile: