How's your depression?


#405

Having a strange few days - a friend of mine who had been fighting addiction and had clean for a while is using again. Meanwhile a colleague has been suffering terrible mental health issues which have been triggering to my own mess. Need a holiday and some sun.


#406

@everyone

^this

:slight_smile:


#407

I get this a lot.


#408

was just about to say my new antidepressants are working really well and saw this thread had been bumped

had been quite unwell for a few months and basically a nervous wreck all the time. I’m doing a really intensive masters course right now and it has been really really really hard for me to keep up and manage my illness. definitely not doing as well as I could if I was well. but yeah, drugs can work so well.


#409

Had a massive burst of energy in the last few weeks, which on Saturday concluded with unproductivity and saddens, which culminated in crying to my gf and thinking that I wanted to die.

Do you get this often? Obviously its impossible to diagnose online, particularly if you are a complete amateur like me, but that does sound a bit bipolar to me. That said it could just be the depression lifting then throwing you back in


#410

It’s the first time it’s been pronounced I think. I was also coming off a wave of good fortune with exams and I was socialising lots which helped . I didn’t do any terrible awful things, except spend too much on booze and get drunk too often, but at the same time I was motivated to do stuff. Since about Saturday I’ve really not managed to do much at all.

Ive had feelings like this since I was about 16 or so? Im not sure if there’s something wrong or if I’m just weird or something. I often don’t sleep right and I don’t exercise or eat very well, so I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked that I feel this way.


#411

A fair enough probably not that then. Just have a close friend who was mis-diagnosed as a major depressive and and turned out he had type 2 Bipolar


#412

Man, I know exactly what you’re going through. The impending move to Germany is speeding up for me and my partner now, and while that is exciting I am absolutely terrified, not least because I have no idea what I’m doing (regardless of where in the world I am) but am trying to not take it out on my partner because I do want us to do this, I just don’t really know what it is


#413

Wrong fucking thread


#414

really struggling today, I feel feel isolated and lonely now I’m not working, feel on the edge of a panic attack, really want a beer.


#415

I don’t have the capacity to deal with people or life’s responsibilities in any way. I feel like this is too deep-rooted and I’m now too old for this monumental flaw in my character to be fixed and I just feel like killing myself


#416

work stress makes me feel like my heart is being strangled.


#417

Hey BS, you’re at Uni aren’t you? Believe me you’re not too old to deal with your flaws. Especially as having the capacity to deal with people/responsibility is something that a lot of people struggle with. I reckon there’s more people in the world who have those difficulties than those who don’t! It’s okay to have expectations for yourself, but remember that you’re the one setting these really high ones and no-one else is, so if you’re not reaching them then other people aren’t thinking any worse of you.

@xylo I feel your pain. Want to say more and get it off your choice by way of venting/rambling about it?

@Bamnan Sounds rough, panic attacks are horrible enough but the anxiety of thinking one might be about to happen is crushing in itself. You tried getting out of the house, or does that not really help when you feel like this?

Hope the rest of the day perks up for everyone in this thread.


#418

Struggling a bit.

I’ve never been formally diagnosed with anything but I’ve got some pretty clear anxiety issues associated with travelling and other situations where I’m not free to immediately leave if I want/don’t have access to a bathroom and some unpleasant psychosomatic stuff associated with that, but I cope. I’ve tried twice to get something done about it and both times my GP hasn’t followed through with it but I get that MH services are severely under resourced and that’s fine.

But these last few weeks in particular… nothing to do with my usual issues, but I’m a mess. No external pressures or anything but I’m on the verge of tears/panic half the time. Constant low mood. Everything - EVERYTHING - irritates me. Can’t hack loud or sharp noises. Been feeling woozy for at least a week. Bad taste in my mouth all day today. Sleep has been disturbed and weird dreams, whereas I don’t normally have any sleep issues. Stomach stuff. I’m compulsively pulling out eyebrow hair, of all things. Broke down a bit when my gf asked me if I’m ok this evening. I feel like I’m losing my fucking mind.

Struggling a lot. Think I should see a doctor tomorrow.


#419

That all sounds really awful, especially when there isn’t an obvious cause to tackle but the First step is to open up about it, hope venting on here helps you.

We’re all here for you, hopefully seeing your GP is the start of some positive change for you; stay strong and take it one day at a time x


#420

Hi Eps
Sound very shit. I think it would be beneficial to see a doctor in a general sense about this for some long term issues.

I know we’ve spoken about this travelling thing before as I suffered from this pretty badly between about 19-22ish. I was so terrified to leave the house especially to get on a train or a tube because I was worried I’d need to do number 2 and would be stuck underground or not be able to get to a toilet in time. I used to take HOURS to leave the house as I’d be constantly trying got empty my bowels or I’d end up taking a lot of Imodium and be doubled over in pain for 2 days afterwards. In the end, I stopped leaving the house althogether.
I don’t know what made me decide to change (I think my bf at the time was getting fed up) but I started my own kind of exposure therapy. I’d just go into London (at the time I lived in Essex) and wander around and go home. At first it was fucking awful, sometimes I wouldn’t go, or I’d get to the station and come back, and sometimes I had panic attacks but what never ever happen was the main thing is worry about. It got easier each successful trip and it’s like my brain then learned “it’s alright nothing bad will happen”. Basically what I’m trying to say is a) you’re not alone in this. I reckon loads of people have this same issue and b) you can overcome this. Maybe CBT might be good for you or just facing up to shit and trying it out but from experience, medication won’t necessarily help that. It’s almost like it’s been programmed into us and we need to erase it rather than numb it, if that makes sense?

As for the other stuff, I’m not sure I can help too much but how is your self care routine? What are you doing to help yourself? I have found I go through these phases and that I need to exercise permanent constant self care or I’m screwed. I know if I don’t do X, Y will happen and I don’t want Y to happen.

Take care of yourself please. Be selfish. Take space when you need it. Always remember to breathe x


#421

Horrible defo see a doctor. I can get the stomach stuff really bad. Can only eat dry foods some days due to anxiety. SSRIs have helped somewhat. Certainly I haven’t got it so bad since I’ve been on them

I would also ask for a blood test were I you on the off chance that you have thiroid issues.


#422

Not too bad since I stopped watching the news.


#423

I’m actually going ok with the travel/etc stuff these days. It’s still there, and I will still very occasionally avoid something where it would be an issue but it’s rare. With my new job I have high pressure hearings that can last all day with no opportunity under my control to go to a bathroom and I do those. It’s an odd thing to be proud of, but I’m proud of myself for coping with those and travel and unfamiliar events.

Self care: dunno. I’ve been taking more time to myself to sit in the (quiet, airy) spare room. I’ve been meaning to exercise every day this week but I’ve been too woozy to face it.

I don’t think I can do work today, I still feel like I’m on the verge of tears/panic. Going to try to get an emergency GP appointment.

Thanks, I didn’t know that could be an issue. I’ll ask for that.


#424

It’s not surprising at all that you’re feeling like this in the circumstances Bugduv because your cortisol, adrenaline and noradrenaline levels will be constantly elevated. Under normal conditions people start the day with higher cortisol to give them some get up and go and then it tails off during the day. It blocks insulin and so keeps your blood sugar high – giving your body more immediate energy. This is great when used as biologically intended, but for long periods it’s like you’re constantly spending and never saving. Same with adrenaline and noradrenaline, they’re meant to support the body’s fight or flight response but when they’re consistently raised your metabolism is going into overdrive.

As a result, these hormones are shifting your physiology away from routine management processes and towards what are wrongly interpreted as immediate demands. This means the routine management activities get suppressed – so for example with the regular infections, one of the actions of cortisol is to block certain immune system responses – hence the constant colds and infections.

I think stuff like mindfulness techniques, sleep hygiene and exercise are probably the best places to start because you need to find out first whether this is mainly a response to your environment. If it is, then meds will only mask the symptoms rather than the cause. If you try these and still feel the same then it’s probably time to see your GP and explore treatment options. Both you and the GP should be better equipped to do this if you’ve already made some steps yourself towards understanding the problem.