everything is so bleak at the moment, I feel I am living in a never-ending nightmare.
I’ve contacted five people, so even discounting this one and the one who sent the “should’ve answered your phone, DICKHEAD” email to someone asking for their help with an acute mental health problem, I’ve still got options.
I can see the advantage of the convenience of Skype appointments. I don’t know if that increased likelihood of sticking with regular appointments would be better than having that structured “this is the thing I go to to fix my brain” thing. I suppose I can try it and see.
God that is awful. You wonder why some people do those jobs don’t you? Consciously study for years to then be arse to people who aren’t exactly contacting you to tell you how great they feel. Urgh.
Sorry, anyway. It’s good you’ve got a few more options though. And I can see what you mean. Plus it is totally up to you what you think suits you, and there’s no harm in going once to see how you feel about the particular person- otherwise it can be a bit pointless going out of your way to see someone who just isn’t the right person for you. I tried two before I found someone who I felt more relaxed/open around, and obviously that’s not ideal but for me anyway it was totally worth it in the end. I used this website http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk and found it pretty useful cause it lists the sort of stuff they do and you can see their face (which sounds silly but I liked being able to picture actually talking to them). I don’t know if that’ll be any use but you never know
This. That would be terrible service if you were ordering a pizza - but in this context it’s approaching malpractice. I’d shop them to the British Association for Counselors and Psychiatrists, http://www.bacp.co.uk. Might stop them being dicks to someone else, and might make you feel better as well!
Feel kinda sad and empty and humbled. Reminded of some stupid shit I did in the past but also not really sure what the hell im doing really. Lost my job again, album released to a shrug, don’t really know what my purpose is going forward, feel like I just distract myself rather than do anything useful
Hence my typing this on a message board at 2:30am while watching wrestling I guess
Not the only one up at this hour
It sounds really simplistic but try not beat yourself up about the past. I find that it’s a fine line between taking responsibility for your actions and letting it consume you as a person. Generally, people like yourself and others in this thread are too self-aware to ever become complacent with how you impact on others. Just try to remember the good things you’ve done too, basically
I’m awake because I have a fairly big day today. My alcoholism, which I’m fairly sure I’ve touched on here before, has come back with a vengeance, causing me to miss a few student placement shifts. Rather than my usual cover up though I chose to be more honest…and now it feels every man and his dog knows. There’s a meeting today, with both uni and placement present, to discuss “support” for me…I’m just hoping it doesn’t end in course cancellation. So yeah, I can’t sleep.
Oh man that’s rough, I wish you all the best with that and hope they’re sympathetic
my pure-ocd is the fucking pits at the moment after a month of blissful relief. constantly ruminating, head just feels like its overheating. knackered by it. guts are playing up as a result too. and why do my ruminations always have to be fucking theology/sexual shame based. FFS
just writing some shit down:
I am fucking terrified by this move, I think because I have to face the facts that I’m becoming an adult (i.e I’m nearly in my 30s) who will soon have responsibilities and stuff and realistically need to think about a “career” or something but I feel like a total fraud, especially for going to another country where I barely speak the language. My life is constant escape and reverie, I hang out with pals, drink, watch films & wrestling a lot, I dream about things (like living in Berlin or being a successful musician/journalist) but when actual opportunity and work and commitments come up I shut off and immediately doubt myself almost to the point of self-sabotage because I don’t consider a lot of what I’ve done so far a success.
sounds like you have a great life mate to be honest, embrace it
Exactly so why the fuck do I freak out and cry and crawl back to bed for several hours every time something potentially good happens? It’s exhausting, not least for my partner as well as me
Mate, although I don’t work in this area specifically, if they throw you out for this it would be an absolute scandal. Trust me, you’d be exceptionally unlucky to come across a University who didn’t work with you.
Make sure you’re straight up with them cos they can’t do much if you’re not. Best of luck.
I’ve been putting off for several months (might be coming up to six, idk) to call that psychologist my GP referred me to. Ooops.
moreover, I really have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to be doing or what I want to do, whatever I’ve tried fails and I live in too much of a fantasy world to understand what else I’m supposed to be doing or would be good for me blah blah white middle class privilege wah
You’re not a fraud, I can’t see why anyone would think that. Besides you’ll pick up the language fast once you’re over there! You’re a smart person so it doesn’t surprise me you’re having doubts about the move, it’s such a big change how could you not?
These changes sound really tough but I’ve got faith in you. People I know who have emigrated also found it difficult and experienced a lot of the same anxieties you have, it’s a normal reaction.
You’re definitely not alone there mate. But you sound like you’re making decisions to move your life forwards instead of stalling, even when faced with anxiety and I think that’s something to be respected.
I’m having a bit of a wobble and I’m not sure why.
I am worried how much I’ll miss home though, it’s not like London worked out… but then as much as I love Glasgow I don’t really know what’s left for me here either other than my band but I’m not really sure what’s left there now.
Thanks for the kind words, I just feel really displaced before anything has even really happened, I’m terrified I’m gonna fuck this up and be really sad and lonely and not be able to find whatever the fuck it is i’m looking for that’s meant to make me feel satisfied (I know this never really happens but it’s got to be better than THIS)
They’ve been really supportive. Realistically, I think my worries were probably exacerbated by my own sense of guilt. I’ve also been given the chance to fast track to services through uni, which is very fortunate.
Being straight has very much helped my cause. The fact that I’ve raised it myself, before it being noticed by others, is essentially the difference between being supported or being disciplined. Not everyone is that lucky.