How's your depression?


#626

Thanks, I’ve left quite a bit unsaid there but I think you might be able to fill in the gaps anyway. I should do that, yeah (self-refer) I’m just struggling to properly accept the move yet, as we’ve got lots of renovation to do and dwindling resources…

My weekend should be positive though…out for a meal with uni friends later, painting some walls tomorrow morning before the cup semi final in the evening, then on Sunday we plan to just go out and chill somewhere. To enjoyit I need to get on with somethings I’ve been putting off for a while, I usually feel better once I’ve done so.


#627

I can’t seem to stop crying at the moment (not PMT related at all). Like I’m taking everything really to heart and to mean a lot but really it’s so insignificant that I shouldn’t be getting upset at all. Has a full on meltdown today over nothing and been so anxious and upset since even tho all was resolved and fine.

I just have to wait for it to pass I guess.


#628

ah that sucks.

Drink some tea and watch a comedy!

Hopefully you’ll be back to your normal self soon


#629

Hopeless. I’ve been lucky in so many ways but mostly I’m just weak. Hardly anything seems worthwhile because I can’t connect to people, and even if I could, it all just seems too painful anyway and I’m afraid of everything. Like, I’m fairly young and have never really known anyone close to me die as of yet, but still I can’t stop thinking about death and loss and how nothing good would ever be worth the bad side (also applies to just having fun and then feeling embarrassed afterwards). I realise how pathetic it is too think like this when there are people actually dealing with illness and loss, but it all just seems so futile and I guess the only way I can see to cope is to not really know anyone at all.

I’m trying to just avoid all contact with everyone I’ve ever known because everything seems shameful in hindsight, but it’s making me super anxious about going to lectures and stuff.

Also getting to me is guilt about every bad thing I’ve ever done. Can’t come to terms with how to get through life feeling relatively harmless in my own mind but knowing that my actions don’t reflect that. Seems like death is the only true repent.

Craving numbness.


#630

All I know of you is your kindness and generosity on this website but I think that is reason enough.


#631

hey, I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time. Have you spoken to your GP or anything yet? Sounds like you could really benefit from some professional help. Try to remember that the good is just as real as the bad in life and that ultimately life doesn’t have to be that serious, it’s ok to just have fun and not worry about tomorrow sometimes. Sadly avoiding everyone won’t protect you from these feelings and will likely only intensify them so I guess step one try and speak to someone about it, medication might really help.

I dropped out of university due to my depression so I do understand but hopefully it won’t come to that for you.

Take care of yourself x


#632

shite. cried my way through a job seekers appointment, terrified by the future/idea of missing out on stuff here because that’s where most of my anxieties lie. Did my second CBT class yesterday but was mostly just babbling. No idea where I’m going to work without getting completely distraught.


#633

I’m still feeling dreadful and so on edge and down all of the time. I feel like i’m trapped in my own thoughts but my own thoughts aren’t really anything in particular.
I kicked up about something at work this week that’s just made me look a bit ridiculous infront of my boss etc.
I would like to have some time off work but i’m worried if I own up to my problems that it would harm my career when something could be on the cards for me. I have no idea what to do or who to turn to so i’m feeling even more stuck and crap!
Today its manifested in my feeling really really shakey and teary. I’ve never had these shakes before but I can tell its anxiety as my stomach is feeling odd too.


#634

Man, sounds like you’re really going through it.

I totally understand your concerns around career progression, but I think it would be worth seeing the doc to talk about this. Even getting some meds on a short-term basis could potentially help you get through this without needing time away from work, yet even if it doesn’t, there’s no shame in being signed off for a week or two with stress or depression. Often, just taking that first step towards breaking the cycle off feeling shit can lift a whole load of weight from your shoulders.

Having a mental wellbeing problem is no different to having a physical wellbeing problem - I know many people still hold the contrary view, but in the same way that no-one would expect you to carry on as you would usually with a broken arm, nor should you be expected to when you’re struggling with anxiety and / or depression.

Whatever you end up doing, I really hope things begin to lift for you much sooner rather than later. I can empathise with everything you’ve mentioned above, I’ve been through it myself on many occasions.

And take time out to be kind to yourself as well, try and be a bit selfish over the weekend and indulge yourself in something you really love.

Take it easy.


#635

got anything to look forward to at the weekend to take your mind off it? Sounds like a tough situation as there might be downsides to whatever you choose, generally though I think most people are more supportive of stress/mental health problems than we like to think as people don’t regularly talk about it.

Hope you feel better soon!


#636

Sorry I didn’t see this post till now. CBT is really weird at the start, I found. I know it’s tough but I recommend that you go to at least another session and see if you get more out of it.

Sorry for forgetting, but have you finalised the move to Berlin? It’s understandable to be scared about that. You probably will miss out on some stuff, but you’ll also experience a lot of new great things in Berlin that you wouldn’t know you’re missing out on without living there. Hope that makes sense. Take care buddy.


#637

Thank you. I’m so glad you can understand. I was hoping it’s just a little phase or a bad week but it seems to have stuck this time.

I have never taken medication before so i’m unsure whether to do that, although I probably should as my usual methods just do nothing for me any more. I was exercising to regulate my moods but now I’m immune to it even if I do shit loads in a week.

I know I should just be like fuck it and go but when something is on the cards, i’m thinking they’ll be like “well she’s not mentally stable so she may not be cut out of that”, you know? It’s just adding to my moods. I know it’s also a totally normal thing to think but I’m currently like I cannot be around all of these people all of the time. I’d like my job if I worked from home most of the time but being in here is driving me in INSANE. All of these people all around me all of the time is just overwhelming to me. It’s making me a lot worse.

Thanks so much for your kind words. I’m going to look into doing something nice for myself this weekend right now. Maybe a facial or a massage :slight_smile:


#638

Thanks bam.

how are you doing?


#639

No worries, any time at all :slight_smile:

Although everyone’s individual feelings / emotions / circumstances differ, as I say, I totally understand what you are experiencing at work and how mega-shit it is.

I’m really pleased that you’re finding something indulgent for the weekend - enjoy it! :slight_smile:


#640

well I think I’m alright, but I know part of it is I’ve developed a skill of insulating myself from thinking about the future, it’s going to be painful sooner or later but for now it’s ok!

Silly and trivial as it is my project of getting thinner is helping me focus on something and is helping with my self-esteem (I know this is a bad idea and wouldn’t recommend viewing it this way for anyone).


#641

thank you for asking :slight_smile:


#642

my nervous system’s an absolute wreck


#643

Yeah it’s pretty much happening in a months time, end of May/beginning of June. And I know, its just hard to picture the practicality of day to day stuff. I’m applying for my masters just now but that starts in like october, so it’s what I do in the meantime that’s kinda bothering me. Anyway, I’m feeling a bit more at peace with it, my partner who will be there with me is reassuring me. I’ll just miss what I have now


#644

does anyone on here have any experience of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or similar illnesses?


#645

what’s the symptoms? being tired all the time?