How's your depression?


#646

being exhausted. I have no energy and have to just lie in bed for large parts of the day. exercise makes me more tired. finding myself eating loads more just to get energy bursts. doing something like going to an exhibition and out for dinner leaves me too tired to function the next day. I get headaches, vertigo, I’m really sensitive to light and sound and it can trigger a headache or dizziness.


#647

that sounds terrible!

I definitely had some of those symptoms when I was under a lot of stress and grieving and I think just eating poorly and drinking loads meant I never caught up with myself, just upping myself with caffeine and downing myself with pills and alcohol all the time and never found a balance. Definitely feeling noticaly better since changing my diet and drinking less though.

Is that something you would be able to try? You probably eat healthy anyway.

I’m not trying to trivialise what you are going through btw just maybe it’s nice to envisage a practical solution to some things.


#648

no not at all, that’s practical and supportive info for me and what I was looking for when I posted about it.

I think it’s definitely caused by stress and anxiety but I just hope it’s not a longer term condition that’s been triggered by a very stressful period, rather than something that will go away along with its source y’know. doesn’t help that my university have given us zero time to recover after our exams and we have to now present on our thesis to senior academics. it’s ridiculous and so inaccessible for students who have medical conditions and disabilities. which then feeds feelings of being inadequate.


#649

academic life is so stressful where’s the time for personal growth and reflection?

I mean it’s all so easy for me to say because I made the foolish decision to opt out of life and play at pretending to be a musician, I’ve mostly just kicked the can a little farther down the road…obviously not an option for a lot of people.

I have found since cutting out sugar and only drinking on occasion that the kinda fidgety sense of nervous dread is fading. Maybe you’re in the midst of an emotional hangover from your celebration a few days ago. I can find that if I have a heavy night I feel emotionally damaged for up to a week afterwards. Seems a little hard to believde but I guess I’m just sensitive to that stuff (was the same when I smoked weed sparingly years ago). I’ve learnt though that it’s irrelevant how other people view it though, it’s my body & brain at the end of the day.

Take care of yourself anyways :slight_smile:


#650

It was embarrassing myself at work that finally made me go to the doctors. I may have mentioned it upthread but I basically flipped over something trivial and sent some ranting emails that even now make me cringe. I’d been struggling for a few months - anxiety, agoraphobia, short temper etc. and eventually felt so wretched it seemed that to get help was the only option. Been on Sertraline for five months and (after a rough two weeks getting used to it) have been loads better since. Good luck with whatever you decide to do!


#651

I don’t have anything useful to add, but I can relate to the last two bits with ASD. I struggle with noise massively (have to wear headphones most all the time outside of work / home), and hypersensitivity in general, and this has been getting unbearable the last couple of weeks, especially at work / in public (had to go home at lunch on Thursday due to noise… said I had a headache), which in experience usually means a depressive episode is coming on yay :pensive:

Really stressed about this because although my employer is great when it comes to mental health, there are quite a few employees with fairly severe mental health issues, and I think my boss has come to see me as someone she can depend on. Really really don’t want to screw that up.

For what it’s worth you’re all great and I’m praying for us all :slight_smile:


#652

thank you so much, that is really a helpful and supportive post.

I’ve been told I am ‘hypersensitive’ which actually makes a lot of sense. I thought I was just really irritable and had no idea that it was a neurological condition/type. but yeah small sensory triggers can really throw everything off kilter and make my mind go foggy, and cause dizziness. like I was at an exhibition yesterday that was slightly too busy with not enough ventilation and I had to leave and go sit outside reading for half an hour before returning.


#653

It’s good that you know to take care of yourself by doing that though :+1::+1:

Definitely take a time out as soon as you’re starting to feel overwhelmed or fatigued.

Tbh I’ve learned to accept my hypersensitivity in a way. People probably judge the hell out of me when I’m walking round the supermarket with headphones and sunglasses on but oh well. Neurotypicals are weird af. Went into a Boots store in a city without my headphones a couple of months ago and they had a song playing on the store sound system and a different song playing on an eyebrow bar stall. Almost threw up there and then. Went straight out, hyperventilated for a couple of minutes, and then crossed the road to buy another pair of headphones. Keep a pair in all the bags I own now just in case.


#654

:bouquet:


#655

do you listen to music or anything or do you just need the barrier to keep out noise?

i’m lucky that i don’t have the same issues to deal with as you but i do love walking around with headphones in and no sound coming through them, the world seems more peaceful


#656

I mostly have music on as I’m okay with noise I can control, but if I don’t want to listen to music I leave them on to be a bit of a barrier (often if I’m in a shop or somewhere I don’t know and need to be able to hear other noises). Needs to be over - ear headphones as well, earphones are no good.


#657

Honestly first thing to do when symptoms like that come is rule out anything physical. Take a blood test and check for anemia or thyroid issues. I would also check your ears if you are getting vertigo and headaches. I get both and they are caused by basically the pressue in my ears being utterly fucked.

Other then that I find myself getting tired very easily but I think its a mental problem with me. I just struggle to get myself out of bed or do anything cause I lack inspiration.

Social situations also exhaust me to the extent that after a few days of socalising I just want to be alone for the next day or two. But this for me is that I simply find the putting up a front and interacting with people really stressful.

I dont know. Just blathered on about myself but rule out a physical issue first (presuming you havent done so already)


#658

My life can be pretty much condensed into 3 cartoon panels. Depressing.


#659

ME/chronic fatigue, and these other invisible conditions can be a right bugger do get diagnosed and of course is also physical (i meant something simple and measurable in my last post).

One of my friends suffers from ME and after years of trying she has been diagnosed and considered too ill to work. This is a massive relief for her and she seem to put the little energy she has to good use. With her music and creative projects.


#660

I was also going to suggest getting this tested if you haven’t already. About two years ago I had real problems with concentration and bad fatigue. Turns out it was anaemia combined with hypothyroidism. Easily diagnosed and treated.


#661

Unbelievably sad today, feel life is passing by without any developments and no real desire to dig myself out of the trench. Just fill the hecking thing up already.


#662

the ones without garfield sum up my life quite well


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#663

hang in there, we love you x


#664

I get that man. It’s hard to build yourself up when things lack a purpose and you feel like you are just going to have to keep managing shit only for it collapse again.

Had a bit of a drinking run recently (only properly heavy a couple of days normally just a few pints). Yesterday was my first April 12th my room is a mess again and im struggling to pull myself together. Despite my personal life being the best its ever been and my professional life for the first time ever actually seems to be progressing somewhere.

I still dont want to get up most days and deal with this shit. I think its the pretense that gets me. The fact I have to pretend im feeling alright for work, to maintain relationships etc. Just digging myself into an anti social hole with drink for company.

That said I felt better today (though still had a beer) and I feel like im getting to the otherside of this dip now. It’s just I was feeling so good before I went off on this one and it saddening to notice how easily it can turn.

The truth is I just dont want to sort shit out I want to be able to let go and escape for a bit because my mind is too hyperactive and struggles to balance this shit. This is why I go to drink or drugs to just switch it off for a bit or rediscover a bit of wonder in life. I dont want to take these moments away from me 'cause I feel I need them and I just get such terrible burn out from basically just maintaining a fairly standard life.

But sometimes my dips are too step and I just burn time with all the days blurring into one and all the chores and shit I need to keep up with pilling up and I just feel unreal in these moments. The time just dispersers and I lose it.

But I know that this is just the case with me and its pointless to compare myself to others. I have to work through these things and thats the hand ive been played. Its not a race. Its just about finding some sort of balance and enjoyment out of life. I used to think that there would be a magic pill or moment that will snap me out of these demons but now I’ve accepted that this isnt the case.

It’s a long term engagement and I constantly have to remind my self to sow some seeds for the future. Maintain contact with the people I care about. Try not to be completely indulgent in myself and give time to others, even when im not 100% up for it. Because occasionally they can return the favour, and the absolute worst thing for me is coming out of depressive phase realising that there is no one to get in touch with. That I have drifted out of friendships and burnt the bridges when I finally feel the need to be around people again.


#665
  • without a drink since April 12th