How's your depression?


#666

dealing with this sounds incredibly difficult.


#667

Waiting for something that's not coming, that's it exactly.


#668

I can't even begin to find the words to describe how I'm feeling this evening - I've spent the last hour trying and then trying again and again and again. But, no matter what I write, it doesn't do any sort of justice to what I feel or what's going through my mind right now.

Suffice to say, I actually felt the sadness wash over me like an ocean wave might overwhelm a novice surfer and physically feel any semblance of energy drain out of me not long after I got home tonight. I hope that I am somehow mentally exhausted and so will be able to sleep tonight. I suspect not.


#669

breathe deeply and hold on. You can make it through tonight!

Love and care going out to you x


#670

Had a weird dry patch on my elbow that looked like eczema but didn't, like there were small regular sized patches of sore dry skin. Went to the doctor and they told me it's psoriasis, probably because I already have been told I have the hlab27 gene which makes me predisposed to certain autoimmune conditions. This one is partly triggered by anxiety and depression and gets worse/better depending on one's mental state, as well as diet and overall health. Found this upsetting as knowing my mental health is physically impacting on my body is so scary. Googled psoriasis sores and I'm very grateful thst what I have is very small and not at all like the horrific photos i saw but if I don't get better mentally I could make things worse. Already changing my diet dramatically, as a vegan I can hardly eat as much as I used to but now I have to cut out nightshade veg (aka the best ones, potato tomatoes aubergine and peppers). I also have to test for gluten intolerance but hopefully I don't have to cut out gluten. Still need to eat a lot less pasta and bread etc. It might be a good thing to force myself to work out more as I hardly exercise and my vegan diet wasn't even that healthy


#671

Did you manage to get a good sleep?

I know what you mean here. I think this is is similar to how I was feeling last week. Where you can't explain why or how you feel, you just feel something and that something is not right.

Hoping it will pass for you xx


#672

oh no I think I have this... my elbows both have constant eczema and my scalp has had a dry patch for years. I should probably write down all my symptoms..

I've started taking vegan supplements and I'm not too strict with myself about food. feel like I should be a proper vegan but our health comes first xx


#673

Thanks, really appreciate the kind words.

I did get some sleep, not a lot though. It must have been fairly shortly after 2.45am, and I was up again at 6. Need to battle through today and get to bed early this evening.


#674

Aw no hope it gets better! I've been researching non medical treatments like Himalayan pink salt baths and coconut oil as a cream, they sound quite nice and not scary :smile:


#675

I use coconut oil on my hair and skin (and eat it too)


#676

I have a lot of your symptoms

I found this book really useful and could relate to a lot of it


#677

yeah my therapist recommended that to me :slight_smile:


#678

I've got an initial conversation about some counseling for my anxiety issues tonight. Not really sure what to expect, but I've been feeling better recently so now's the time to crack on with it while I can, I think.


#679

My GP wants me to see an eating disorder specialist. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I know food and my weight causes me a shit tonne of anxiety, but at the same time my weight is what's considered healthy for someone my age and height.


#680

You can have really sever problems with food while being 'objectively' healthy (according to BMI, etc.)—I was bulimic for a long time, and treating myself very, very badly but my weight stayed within the healthy range the whole time. I still have a very conflicted relationship with food though I'm a healthy weight and physically perfectly fit (can run a marathon, for e.g.). If it's causing you stress, don't feel you shouldn't seek help just because it doesn't "look serious" from the outside.


#681

Apologies for typo and overuse of quote marks


#682

Glad you liked this! Was worried it might sound super patronising.


#683

not really that depressed but I can't see any point in carrying on living really. I'm just going to be waiting for another 20-30 years to die out of politeness to other people. Wish I could think of a way that killing myself would be helpful for others but I can't work it out.


#684

It didn't sound like that at all. Thank you for the reassurance.

I hope you're doing better now x


#685

Went to the GP to ask about SNRI's and CBT and got my dose of Citalopram whacked up to the max instead. "It's like babies and milk see - when their mum's keep changing the type it confuses them."

I know the guy means well (different one from last time) but man do I not need help feeling small and pathetic right now.