How's your depression?


#686

Hi sorry been trying to avoid any trace of myself on the internet since posting that. I’ve not seen anyone since I came off meds about a year ago, should probably go back. Agree with the life not having to be that serious thing, it helps to remind myself of that, although I think it’s better for me to just watch films and stuff rather than try to have fun as such because it always ends up worse in the end. Feel like isolating myself just saves shame and embarrassment though, like I’d really like to move to a different city and never talk to anyone. Maybe then I could enjoy going for a walk or something then.

Dropped out a couple of years ago but I’m going to stick with it this time because it’ll be a long time after university anyway won’t it.

Don’t really desire to be happy anymore, just trying to find a bit of stability and comfort.


#687

Yeah sorry to budge in but just to echo what’s already been said, that in no way makes it less valid. For a long time I thought I couldn’t have an eating disorder because I wasn’t thin enough until eventually it started taking over my life.


#688

I think i’m going to have to go on some medication as things are getting worse.
I’m going to go speak to the doctor next week (can’t get an appointment til next week) but is there anything I should suggest I want to try first? I’m looking for something with a low dose really as I don’t want to go on medication but I have no where else to turn.


#689

In my experience, and that of a few people I know that have gone onto meds, they will start you on a low dosage regardless and then adjust if necessary after 6 weeks or so minimum - usually something like Setraline, Fluoxetine, Venlafaxine.

I would recommend doing it, simply to get those fluctuations in mood stabilised and allow you to hopefully find a bit of an even keel. You might have to fight a couple of side-effects like fatigue / thirst etc whilst you adjust, but again, it’s a small price to pay quite honestly. When I started meds I used to take them before bed to try and minimise any of these.

Whatever happens, I hope you find the benefit sooner rather than later - good luck with it x


#690

Thank you. I really appreciate it.

I’m at a cross roads where I can try to get help and sort things out or just keep ignoring it which is leading to outbursts and now those closest are leaving me and I think it’s probably time to do something. I just never wanted to go on medication and thought I could self-medicate a lot with exercise but it has absolutely no effect on me and sometimes I go and just end up crying through a gym class which is just getting too much.

I know it’ll take a while for my body to get used to it but it’s so hard cause I don’t feel cut out for that, if you know what I mean? I’m already unstable and knowing it’s going to get a bit worse before it gets better is hard!

thank you though xx


#691

we’re all here for you, DiS will help you get through :slight_smile:

That goes for everybody else in or reading this thread too x


#692

Thanks sweetheart.
I am getting really panicky and like this is going to get completely out of hand and I might lose my job and have to move home with my parents or something (which i know is just my crazy thoughts running away with me but I can’t help it!! argh)


#693

Not a problem.

I would guess having read other posts on this thread that there are quite a few people here who can absolutely relate to how you’re feeling - that knowledge that things will probably get worse before they begin to get better when you already feel like you’re at rock bottom is terrifying, soul-destroying and in itself, thoroughly depressing.

If your usual sources of self-medication aren’t working and relationships with those closest to you then you are absolutely doing the right thing here im(humble)o.

Everyone’s rooting for you, meow, you’re a good person!

Take care :slight_smile: x


#694

one day at a time, you don’t have to make any huge decisions right away. The first step is to book your appointment with the GP, that’s enough to achieve for right now.


#695

Would like to give you all a hug.


#696

Thank you. I’ve booked in so i’m making steps.


#697

Yeah I am definitely feeling that at the moment. I’ll see how things go with the dr next week but i’ll try some herbal stuff this week to try to calm me and get me through it.

thank you xx


#698

Weekend just gone marked 2 years since I started my meds. They’ve helped immeasurably but now keen to stop as my attention span has 100% been effected and I’ve put on some weight.

Life has been a bit crazy with various personal issues both to myself and close friends of mine. I tended to think that life settles down once you hit your 30s, but mine seems to have spiraled out of control to some extent and would just like some calm now please. /ramble


#699

I felt much better after a week on a low dosage of citalopram, with similar levels of anxiety and panic from the sounds of it. it isn’t necessarily going to get worse before it gets better. you could respond really well and quickly to medication. hope you find something effective for you xx


#700

Oh thank you for this. This makes me feel a bit better that it’s not going to be all bad. I had a vision that I would start taking it and it would be hell for a few weeks until it settled in. I’ll mention this one when i go x


#701

Just don’t care about anything, fucking sick of it.


#702

are you able to set yourself some small goals that might make you feel more satisfied with life?


#703

I’ve been on Sertraline for a few months

Doc said to be prepared to feel bad for a week or so - but I just felt a bit edgy on day 1, and then noticed a good improvement after that


#704

Yeah I need to be more constructive, make more things (crap art, worse songs) and get better at keeping social in the right ways. But where’s the motivation going to come from?


#705

I do know the feeling, I felt like I tried really hard this year with my music and it’s come to absolutely nothing. I have to live in denial though as otherwise I would crumble.