First here, I want to say that you all seem like really genuinely great people and it is a shame to see so many kind people suffering with these difficulties, I wish there was more help I could be.
I always feel so selfish talking about myself, but maybe venting a little here might help? Everything feels so impossible for me at the moment. Any potential solution to a problem either seems out of my control, something I am too inadequate to implement or else something that would only cause a different set of problems.
I feel like there is nothing that I really want for myself in life other than to be useful to the people I love, but it seems like I can’t even do that. Most of all I feel like a complete failure to my son, and that he deserves so much better than I can give him.
Right now I don’t feel like I can cope but not coping isn’t an option. My latest meds don’t seem to be helping but I am too scared to change again because the adjustment period is always hell. I am waiting for a therapy appointment but that is likely still months away. I am seeing someone from the mental health “first response team” next week (an appointment I was referred for a couple of months ago), but last time I saw them they just kept telling me there was nothing they could do…
I don’t expect any replies here, though if you have read this I would like to say I am very grateful, I guess the thought that I have shared something is a small bit of relief.