How's your depression?


#1326

no way! are you from leeds? where do you hail from, friend?


#1327

Barnsley. So even less classy than Leeds. I never used to have much of an accent but it seems to have developed since moving to Wales. Some part of me must be proud of my Yorkshire roots I guess.


#1328

haha defensive accenting


#1329

feel like giving up right now, I’m afraid there’s just no way back for me.


#1330

Hang in there Bam. You’re young, talented and loved. This too will pass.


#1331

trying so hard to hold it together despite lots of extremely stressful stuff that’s just sprung up in the past few days. got knocked off my bike yesterday and didn’t really think I was injured but now my shoulder is a bit sore to move and idk if I have time/resources to get it x-rayed so just hoping that goes away soon. also found out I might be getting evicted with nowhere to go and am not able to access legal advice at the moment so relying on my partner who is also really stressed to do that. basically being poor is really really bad for your mental health isn’t it.


#1332

sorry to hear this :frowning: hope things look up soon.


#1333

I’ve gotten to the point where the only thing keeping me from ending it all is that I’m scared of dying. there’s nothing else keeping me here now. my heart is empty. all I’ve got are the last shreds of the last hope I’ll have ever had for my life, and I’m just holding on to them because without them I’ve got nothing left.


#1334

Seeking some advice regarding helping/living with someone who is really struggling (related to my PTSD post above).

So following the failure of CBT (and subsequent discharge), they’ve really had a shit time of it since. From what I can see, there are pretty telling signs of a deep depression (though I think this is a symptom of PTSD rather than an underlying depressive disorder); loss of interest in anything, hopelessness, exhaustion, prolonged low mood with periods of crying, avoiding social situations, etc. They have a phone mh assessment through work coming up, but it will always be a long process. Incidentally, I also think fluoxetine has had little to no benefit

Now I’ve had my own issues, as I’ve documented above…but not to this degree. I’ve always been able to hold onto to some hope and try and find some positives to hold onto…so I guess I’m just finding it hard to support someone who appears to have lost all hope. I’m interested to hear from people who have felt this way…and what you’ve wanted/what has helped from someone close to you.


#1335

I feel like I’m learning to walk with mine… I’m not sure at what point she(he? it? ve?) started to feel like something I should stop trying to make leave… and… sorta embrace it? Give it a home I guess? At least a nice place to come and rest when it’s too loud and difficult… somewhere it can drink some water and rest a while before leaving again to go wherever… uh… a dog like that… dog? well… maybe DOG is what we found to be closer actually. It definitely has some crocodile, some horse and definitely some chicken… (goddammit Richard!! xddd) ah… but anyway, keeping with that trope, I believe I learned to want to give it a place to rest and get better instead of being constantly scared of it coming up to destroy my gardens. I guess somethings just want to be around us so badly that they kinda take on the roles we end up enforcing on them. That doesn’t mean they are… evil? Well, even if they are… That doesn’t mean they are bad… or maybe they are LOL. But… if given a chance, they may turn out to be the good kind of ugly? Or was it the good kind of bad? Shit if I know… <3


#1336

4 days in to new routine and I’ve slipped, though this is partly general exhaustion/head-cold. Given I’m trying to work out of an already precarious position in a pressurised situation (i.e a high quality magazine with strict deadlines + learning a new language through classes I’ve already done before) though it’s hard to know how much of it is illness/pressure/mental health.

I’ve stopped drinking though so that’s something I guess


#1337

like the editors seem cool but also quite demanding, which I know is fairly normal for editors but it can be quite hard not to take everything really personally when I’ve a long, long history doing that. I’ve emailed to say I’m not feeling too good but also with an update of where I am with my work but feel stressed just awaiting a reply in case I’ve done something wrong and they’re going to tell me to fuck off. Irrational? probably, but that’s it isn’t it.

I’m going to see a doctor in the morning, however, though my partner is going to come in case she needs to translate


#1338

if they’re not terrible terrible managers they will have a good way of dealing with this and supporting the various needs of their employees. Everything you are doing is reasonable and appropriate by the sounds of it and of course it will take a few days to settle in. When I first started here I sat down at a computer and everything was in another language and I felt so thick. I remember thinking on the first day omg I cannot do ten weeks of this and counting the number of days left. A week later it was much easier and I was feeling even a sense of achievement and completing tasks. You’ll get more into the swing of it and can definitely afford to be very kind towards yourself right now :slight_smile:


#1339

thanks! I just hope they are understanding.

I’m only an intern after all, they could fuck me off at any point and replace me (though to the same end, I can say, well you’re not paying me so…) and I can’t really figure them out, i.e I’m not really sure how I got “chosen” or if they even want me. They’ve given me stuff to do (which has proved pretty slow and frustrating so far, which is a good lesson in Journalism I guess) but yeah I barely know these people and vice verca so I’ve no idea what the reaction is going to be…


#1340

yeah you need to remember what you are getting paid, if anything. I get something like €2 per hour at my place so I really don’t rush with the things they ask me. the point of an internship isn’t just to get free or cheap labour out of the interns. it’s meant to be a learning experience for you and an environment in which you are given space to find your professional style and things like that.


#1341

Do they do that northern German thing of not really reacting to anything until it’s time to point out a problem? I have always found that very difficult to be around, and makes me feel like I’m on edge and about to get into trouble any minute. Which then surprises them because they’re working from an angle of “if I don’t say anything, that means everything is fine.”


#1342

No one in my office is German, either UK or US and the main editor is French but with a Serbian/Baltic name!


#1343

Oh one of the other writers is Danish, that’s about as close as it gets


#1344

I’ve found many people at my work to be quite ungrateful for the things I do for them. It’s not really my job to do a daylong data entry task for €2 an hour so that they have less work to do but I do it if I’m asked. then they don’t even say thank you or acknowledge it when I email it over.


#1345

dunno if this is the right place, but has anyone experienced proper work-related burnout before? Just generally feeling extremely low about work and life in general, and have no energy or ‘zing’ any more. As much as it pains me to say this, I like being proactive when I’m actually at work and get loads of satisfaction out of a job well done, even if it is just making fuckers money, but I’ve got to the point where I can’t really do it. I’ve basically just turned 27 too. Probably doesn’t help that I’ve had 7 days off in the past year and a half (not including weekends), but people do far worse things and still manage to keep going.

made a decision last month to quit and move abroad and do something completely new, but kind of afraid I won’t get out of this rut.